Page 1 of Before. Then. Now.

CHAPTERONE

violet

BEFORE

Heat bathed my body.I snuggled closer.Luca’s heart pounded beneath my ear.He stroked his fingertips over my cheek, tucking my hair back from my face before he pressed a kiss to my forehead.Something thick and hard pulsed against my hip.I smiled, sleep slowly fading away.

“Luca.”Nuzzling my face closer, I kissed his chest.

A ragged inhale jerked me fully awake, reality settling into that heavy yet empty spot where my heart was supposed to be.Not Luca.Never Luca.He wasn’t mine anymore.Part of me wondered if he had ever been mine to begin with.Maybe I’d just been filling an empty spot for him until something better came along.

Someonebetter.

My chest squeezed painfully.

Stop it.Don’t go there.Don’t think about him and the future you were supposed to have with a boy who never did anything to earn your heart besides existing.

Choking down a sob, I lifted my lashes and met Jagger’s blue eyes.

Heated blue eyes.

Something tightened between my legs.That needy part of me that I’d had to hide away.Luca had never touched me.I always had to do it myself—and never ever while he was in the same space as me.He didn’t trust himself, afraid that even one taste of me would make it impossible to hold on to his control.

Unconsciously, I arched my hips against Jagger’s, seeking relief from the throbbing hunger deep in my belly.His lashes lowered, his brow pinched, need glimmering from those intense, beautiful eyes.Skimming my tongue over my bottom lip, I shifted my leg, pressing my core against his thigh a little harder.

Another flex of that steel rod, but this time, it was against the inside of my thigh.

It felt so damn good.

Why had I never realized how perfect Jagger’s lips were?

Did he know how much I wanted him to kiss me?Could he read it in my eyes?There was no way he didn’t feel the wetness that ruined my panties.I was wearing baggy running shorts and an even baggier shirt.No bra.My nipples were so hard they ached.But not half as badly as between my legs.

I rocked against him.Once.Twice.A third time.

A whimper bubbled free.

Fingers brushed over my face again, but this time, they were softer, and I jolted.Regret was the last thing I saw flickering in Jagger’s gaze before he blinked, locking away the hunger I’d glimpsed raging in those ice-blue eyes.

I wanted Jagger.

IwantedJagger?

No!

I shook the thought away.No way.It couldn’t—I couldn’t.And wouldn’t.Jagger was meant to be Shaw’s.Not mine.Thoughts scrambling, I tried to come up with a reason why my body had betrayed me with one of my nearest, dearest friends.It was understandable that I would react so intensely.I was horny and Jagger was hot.Of course, my body would react.

Was still reacting.

Shit.

A hundred different emotions filled me.Regret.Need.Shame.Hunger.Disloyalty.

My clit had a fucking pulse.

“Hey, you’re okay,” Shaw soothed, continuing to stroke my cheek, kissing my temple.She trailed her fingers down my neck, pushing my hair over my shoulder so she could nuzzle my ear.“You were just having a bad dream.”

I didn’t respond, my breathing growing more rapid.A nightmare.That was a great excuse to cling to for why my body had been moving so restlessly.I didn’t have to confess to my best friend that I’d been humping the leg of the boy she was in love with.

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