Page 69 of Trial Run

“Mom. Mommy. Wake up.” Marco jumped on the pile of blankets she’d slept in and ripped the covers back from her face and shoulders.

She bolted upright. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“Outside. You have to look outside. There’s so m-many colors. Why are they doing that?” He grabbed her hand and tugged.

She scrambled to stand. “Doing what? What’s going on?”

“I don’t know. Come s-see. You need to look out the kitchen window. I was making cereal and I looked out there and I saw them.”

He held her hand as they rushed to the kitchen. Her breath caught when she pulled the curtain aside.

A fairy garden had replaced her barren front yard. Bright red and yellow tulips lined the walkways, where a fresh layer of mulch had been laid down. A row of flowering rose bushes lined the front of the property, a riot of peach, yellow, and crimson. A flowerbed had been planted by each front door in the row of houses, with irises, daffodils, and greenery. They’d even put an archway at the head of the path, with ivy climbing the sides, threaded through a wooden trellis.

“What …” Nell scanned the property, looking for workers. A glint of bright orange hair caught her eye at the north corner of the lawn. Amy. Had she known about this before, and hadn’t said anything?

The Tillie’s Flowers van was parked at the curb. Inside of it was the shadowed figure of a tall man with dark hair.

“Marco, stay inside, okay?” Nell wrenched open the door and ran outside in her bare feet. She ran across the wet grass toward the van, because she had to know for sure who’d done this, before he disappeared again.

Ben glanced up just in time to see her approach, and he opened the van door at once, unfolding himself from the passenger seat.

Nell stopped dead and wrapped her arms around her middle. Because now that he was here, she had no idea what to say to him. All of him was achingly familiar—the pressed charcoal suit, the black waves brushed back from his face. Dark brown eyes filled with emotion.

“What are you doing here?” The words came out breathless, not nearly as cool or calm as she’d have liked. She looked down at herself and oh, she was wearing sleep shorts and a T-shirt, her feet covered with wet grass. She hadn’t even pulled her hair back.

Ben stared at her, looking lost for words for a minute before he found his voice. “I … Nell, I need to apologize to you. I know how much I hurt you, and leaving you that day was the last thing I should have done. At the time, I thought it was the right thing to do, but that is not an excuse for how I behaved.” He cleared his throat and squared his shoulders, as if reciting the rest of a set of words he’d memorized. “I hope someday, you can forgive me, but I know it might not be possible for a long time, if ever. In the future—”

“I get that you’re apologizing to me. I really do. You’re sorry you left.”

“So sorry. I’ve wished a hundred times I could go back and not say those things to you.”

“Well, now you’ve said you’re sorry.” She stared down at her toes and tried to hang on to the bare minimum of civility. “And the flowers are very beautiful. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Ben looked uncomfortable as hell, and that was fine because she’d been uncomfortable the whole time she’d known him. He’d cracked her open, filled in all her empty spaces, and then abandoned her.

Her breath picked up, and her eyes burned, but this was not the time to break down, because he shouldn’t matter that much, sorry or not. He wasn’t staying. In a few minutes, he’d drive off and go back to his life, satisfied he’d made amends.

She tipped her head back and squinted up at him. “So why are you here? You could have said all that in a voicemail. Why did you come back?”

“Why did I—” Ben’s face twisted. “I’m such an idiot, for not saying this part first. Nell. I came back because I love you. I loved you then, and I do now. You are the love of my life, and I never thought I’d get to have that. And it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, or if you’re not sure. But I had to do something, when I realized what a huge mistake I’d made. I had to show you— Sweetheart, no. Please don’t cry.”

But she couldn’t stop crying. As soon as he’d said the word “love,” huge, gulping sobs racked her shoulders. Ben pulled her into his arms and held her close, his hand stroking her back.

“I love you too. Ben, I love you,” she managed between hiccuping breaths.

His hand froze on her back. “You love me.”

“I do. I didn’t realize, but I do.” She hadn’t recognized the emotion, or hadn’t trusted him enough to let herself feel it. She’d been numb for so long. But the sweet ache in the center of her chest was love. It had taken root and bloomed there quietly, without her even knowing its name.

Ben held her until her tears slowed. She took a step back from him, drawing in a steadying breath. “If you ever disappear on me again—”

“I won’t. I promise, never again. I know that was the worst possible thing I could have done to you, walking out like that. I thought I had to be a different person to be with you. But it turns out, I was wrong.” A huge smile transformed his face. “God, Nell. Really? You love me?”

“I think I do. You’d better kiss me to make sure, though.”

His mouth came down on hers, achingly tender and soft. Their surroundings disappeared, and there was only him, the feel of his arms holding her close, and the smell of flowers all around them.

He pulled back after a minute, breathless. “Can we go inside?”

---