Page 14 of Knot So Broken

Is that what it's like to have an Alpha’s attention on you in a positive light? I know it's something that I could get dangerously used to.

How couldn’t I? My body is designed for an Alpha. To be theirs. To be the centre for a pack. To take their knot. Omegas need Alphas. That is how it's always been. I know I won’t be afforded that kind of luxury though.

I’m sure my father has some kind of plan for me.

Maybe he plans on marrying me off to someone. No doubt to make himself richer. It would never be for my happiness. That would be hysterical.

My father, considering what is good for me? No. When it comes to him, what is best for me is what serves him. Whatever makes him better in the eyes of his fucked up world. I’m sure the only reason thathe actually makes sure I am fed is so that I am desirable to his friends. A skinny, underfed Omega isn’t desirable in his eyes.

Omegas need curves. Handles for Alphas to use while they fuck us.

His words, not mine.

Bile rises up in my throat as I think back to that conversation.

The day I Emerged.

I swallow roughly as I push the memory from my brain. Nope. Not today. What do I even have to offer three Alphas?

Bucket loads of trauma and abuse?

I’m nothing but damaged goods. My father has seen to that.

No Alpha would ever want me.

It's clear that Theo and Ledger were just being kind. That they were just trying to make friends with me as a way to get through their first day. Make friends with the recluse. No doubt they will be sitting with the rest of the Alphas before the end of the day and fawning over the unmated Omega’s during lunch time. Participating in the pissing contest each break.

The thought of the daily ritual makes me sick. Yet the designations seem to get a kick out of it.

I couldn’t think of anything worse than showing myself off like a show pony. Covering my entire face with makeup. Wearing revealing clothes just to entice a pack into bed. I’m not even desperate enough to do that to make my heat more bearable. Even though I still haven’t had one even after all these years.

I’d prefer to go through the pain I learned comes with being Alphaless during a heat. At least that's what Mrs. Reed said.

It's not like I’m a stranger to the feeling. Pain and I are old friends. Forever doomed to walk this earth together.

I rush into Math, finding an empty seat right at the back of the class. I shuffle down in my seat, concealing myself straight away.

It's better this way. Fading into the background where I belong.

It still hurts though.

It felt good to hold Ledger’s attention. Even though I couldn’t help but question Theo’s intentions at the time, it still felt nice to have his soul focus on me. The remnants of the feeling of their eyes on me during Designation still tingle through my body.

I managed to completely avoid Ledger, Theo and their friend -Jax? -for the entire day. There were a couple close calls though.

I’ve never had to hide from a pack like this before. It feels wrong to do so but I know that I need to. If only for the fact that I know hanging around a pack would do nothing but ensure I got a beat down.

I didn't linger in any place for too long and once the bell rang, I collected my belongings and ran the entire way home.

I know that I shouldn’t have, especially as a stitch under my ribs tries to bring me down on the pathway only feet from my destination. Panting, I make it to the front door without any issues.

Closing the door behind me, I sigh as I lean against the painted wood and try to catch my breath. Although, it becomes difficult to breathe as new, unfamiliar scents tickle my nose. The citrus smells curdle my stomach instantly and I have to cover my mouth so I don’t cop a lashing from my stomach contents landing on the floor.

“Kennedy! In here!”

The sound of my father’s voice calling from his office has me swallowing down the bile. Placing my bag down out of the way at the bottom of the stairs, I quickly fix my hair as best as I can, wiping awaythe sweat on my brow and upper lip before taking the final steps to the door.

Whoever my father is entertaining will be someone of importance, that is something I know for sure. Being unpresentable isn’t an option. Perfection is a must. An Omega should be nothing but.

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