Page 17 of Broken By It

“Don’t you Anna me. Everything I try to say you twist it. Stop gaslighting me!”

The bare thread I’m holding onto is threatening to unravel. “Gaslighting you? Are you serious? The truth is not gaslighting, Anna.”

“You think you know, but you have no idea!” She screams.

“First, I have not raised my voice at you, you don’t raise your voice at me. You want to have a conversation that means talking like a rational adult. Second, what I know is you got a damn DUI and hired an attorney to make it go away. Somehow, you have roped this man into some convoluted idea to represent you in a divorce but not an actual divorce. I’m not the one who started this, you did. I told you I’m not giving up my son. I’ve been sleeping in the fucking truck. I don’t bother you. I pay all the damn bills. You get your hair done, nails done, go tanning, and whatever the fuck else you want. You don’t work and I don’t push the issue. I’ve had enough.”

“You’ve had enough! You brought me to this God forsaken town. You made me leave everything I knew back home and now I’m stuck here.”

Fury runs through me. “I told you I’d get you a ticket home.”

“Yeah, without my son.”

I shake my head. “That is not what the fuck I said.”

“How is telling me I have to fix my shit and do what you say in order for Hollis to go with me, not telling me I’m leaving without him.”

“Anna, you go out every fucking night. You are drunk more than you’re sober. You are not taking my son out of this town much less out of the state until I know you can be responsible for him. Hell, since you got comfortable with babysitters, they have had him more than you do.”

She glares at me. “It doesn’t matter if I have him. I make sure he’s taken care of, that’s what is important. He is always safe and always cared for.”

“He needs a fucking mother, Anna!”

“Until you carry a child inside of you and rip your body in two in order to bring that life into this world, you don’t get to tell me I’m not a mom.”

This is useless. I shake my head. “You don’t see it. And I’m done trying to make you get it. Today is it. I’m going to take Hollis out like I planned. When I get back, I’m going to pack my shit from the garage. Tomorrow I’ll find a new place for me and Hollis to live.”

Her face softens only slightly, “what are you saying, Dillon?”

I look her straight in the eye without wavering, “I want a divorce.”

“What about Hollis?” she whispers.

“We can split custody for now. As long as you aren’t drinking around him. If you do that, then no, I can’t let him stay with you.”

“Fuck you, Dillon,” she spits out on to my shirt. “You will not take him from me. No court will let you, a fuckin’ gang member get that boy. Say what you want about how I parent, I’m not a thug!”

I shake my head fighting back the anger. “You don’t see it. You have your head so far up your ass, you can’t see it. I’m not in a fucking gang and I’m damn sure not a thug. I’m not a criminal. What I am is a motherfuckin’ Hellion through and through. When my world shattered, they picked me up. They have given me more opportunities to better my life, our lives than anyone. I won’t turn my back on the club, not for you, not for anyone. As for how a court will see things, I’m sure any judge would see the Hellions are my extended family. They are family to Hollis and always will be.”

“I guess we will soon find out. Since you’re leaving me and all.”

“Says the woman who asked for a contract marriage.” I throw back at her. Normally, I don’t engage the bullshit. For years, she has been the person pushing to get a rise from me. “Anna, I fucking tried. I loved you like I never loved anyone. Nothing I can do will make you happy. You don’t want a husband; you want a puppet. You pull the strings. Not anymore. I’m done.”

She stands in front of me staring unable to speak.

“We can co-parent like adults and find a way to navigate our new normal. That’s what I want, Anna. I want to find a steady space to be in with you for our son.”

“You’re a Hellion, blah, blah, blah. You have family, yada, yada, yada. You don’t understand commitment. Shit got hard a long fucking time ago, baby, and your ass wasn’t here. I told you what we need to do. You can get on board with the contract, or you can force my hand to do what I have to for my son.”

“I’ve wasted enough time sharing air with you today. This is it. Tomorrow, I’m out.”

I don’t get to say another word as she stomps past me and out the front door.

The moment the door clicks closed I find myself filled with relief I have never had before.

Yes, I’m done. I’ll find a new way of life for me and for my son and it won’t be on her terms.

SEVEN

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