The amazing man she’d just slept with under the stars.
She chuckled.
“What?” he murmured into her neck.
“I’m naked in a public place—”
“Semi-public,” he mumbled.
“Wrapped around a naked man. And sweaty. I’m very sweaty.”
He looked up.
“In the best possible way,” she filled in quickly.
He smiled, immediately ratcheting up her inner furnace another ten degrees, and she couldn’t help but wonder how many times he could make her come in one night.
She wondered if she dared find out.
Then she looked into the burning embers that were his eyes and gulped. Was he thinking the same thing?
But as so often happened with Todd, the sparks in his eyes flickered and suddenly dimmed. He snuggled her closer and cupped her face.
“I’m sorry you can’t have kids,” he said quietly.
She looked away, but the soft stroke of his thumb on her cheek made her look up again. Making her face the truth instead of hiding from it.
“Yeah, well…” She gestured weakly.
Todd didn’t inch away as she half expected him to. He didn’t give her that disappointed,Are you sure you tried hard enough?look her mother always nailed her with. He just looked sad.
“How do you know?” he asked. “Or shouldn’t I ask?”
She bit her lip. There were a thousand happy things she’d rather talk to him about. She’d never really talked about the issue with anyone, not even Sarah. Did she really want to ruin a magical night by discussing it now?
She looked up at the stars, and they seemed to say,If you want him to open up to you, you need to open up to him.
She scratched her cheek. Slid her hand along his chest. Counted blades of fake grass, then finally got it out.
“My ex and I tried—”
“Your ex?” Todd’s voice dropped.
She closed her eyes. Yes, her ex. “Both of us were only twenty-two and barely out of college, but he wanted to start a family right away. So we tried. And tried…” She trailed off. How much to say? How much to gloss over? “I had a miscarriage. Then another. And another.”
Todd ran a hand down her shoulder, helping the shake in her voice even out again.
“He didn’t get how hard that was. To him, it wasn’t a baby until it was born. To me, it was Tasha and Danny and Lucille.” A huge lump built in her throat, thinking about the way she used to touch her belly and hope and wish and pray.
She shook her head. If Jeff hadn’t understood, why on earth would Todd? God, why had she even told him? He was probably squirming inside, thinking about ways to make a graceful exit while he could.
Well, this has been really nice,he’d say as he rolled away from her and headed for the stairs.ButI think I’d better go…
Or maybe he’d stay a while but say something crass like,Why didn’t you just try again?
But he didn’t roll away, and he didn’t say anything. Not for a long time. And when he did speak, it wasn’t aimed at her so much as at the stars.
“I don’t get fate.” A bitter note snuck into his voice.