—he’d have to stay away from her. He couldn’t give fate another innocent victim to toy with.
He lay limp and sweating, gritting his teeth. Shit. Fate had already done that. Given him an incredible gift — Anna — only to whisk all hope away again.
He could practically hear fate’s laughter waft by on the wind.
* * *
That was just the first day, and the ones that followed were about the same.
Nights dragged by, one empty minute after another. An eternity later, dawn would tinge the horizon, coloring the white walls of his room with one shade of pink after another. The colors were bolder than those of a Montana sunrise, and they seemed to dare him.
Come on, bear. Show us what you got.
He’d flex and unflex the fingers of his right hand, wishing he could leave a claw mark across the wall.
Anna had offered to help in the café for the duration of her visit, so she always woke early, and though bears were usually sound sleepers, he never failed to wake up to listen to her tiptoe around. He’d lie perfectly still, fighting the urge to jump up and run over. To say good morning, to see her smile. Maybe even wrap her in his arms. It took every scrap of determination in his body to resist the call of her body, and his heart ached every time she padded down the stairs.
Mate,his bear hummed sadly.Need my mate.
Hanging around this place was going to kill him, but he had no clue where to go or what to do. He was only just getting used to walking around in human form, for Christ’s sake.
Plus, Anna was in no hurry to leave, either. Which would only make things harder in the long run, but a part of him still rejoiced. He savored every brief encounter, every fleeting glance.
Like every time they passed on the narrow stairway and stared into each other’s eyes.
Like when she brought him a drink or snack and gushed about whatever project he’d been working on.
“The bar is looking good,” she’d say.
Bar? What bar? He needed a minute to drag himself back to his surroundings, every time.
Work on the bar could only proceed in the mornings when the saloon was closed. Anna had volunteered to help waitress there, too, which meant everyone was busy in the evenings except him. He needed more than just a morning job. He needed the feeling of contributing to the clan.
So he’d walked through the apartment over the saloon where the others all lived when they weren’t working their tails off. The place had character, but it was run-down and badly in need of…well, everything. Especially a second bathroom, where progress had stalled because none of the others really had the time to devote to it.
Which meant he’d just found himself a job for those too-quiet afternoons. He sweated a new shower into place, laid tiles, and hooked up a shiny new sink. Two times out of three, his wrecked hand would slip or cramp, sending a bolt or clamp rolling across the floor. Glaring at his fingers didn’t help, but he did it anyway, giving the patchwork of scars there the evil eye. Then he’d grit his teeth, collect the parts, and start all over again, just to prove to fate he could spite it in one tiny way.
Soren or Simon would stop by to help when they could, and it was a little like old times, working on a project side by side. For a while, he’d turn off the part of his mind that grappled with the present and let himself slip away into the past.
Then the baby would wake from a nap and cry out to be held, and part of him would cry, too.
Those were the times he actually heard Teddy. Other times, Soren would go rushing down the hallway like the house was on fire when Todd hadn’t heard or sensed a thing.
“I didn’t hear him, either.” Simon once shrugged.
But Sorenalwaysheard the baby, no matter how close or how far he was. He knew when the baby was sleepy, when he wanted to play, when he needed to nurse. The man was so tuned in to that child, he beat Sarah to the crib at times. And if that didn’t prove Soren was the father, what did?
Todd worked his jaw from left to right and contemplated the empty sink.
Sarah had been avoiding him, and in a way, he was okay with that because the situation was awkward for him, too. The fact that the one night they’d slept together was only a vague blur in his mind didn’t help, nor did the knowledge that she’d been with Soren in spirit and not him. The worst part was thatyou were just a puppet in destiny’s machineryfeeling he couldn’t quite stomach.
Think of something else. Think of something nice,he coached himself.
Andzoom, his mind went right to an image of Anna, twirling a finger in her hair.
He forced the image away and replaced it with one of home. He closed his eyes, remembering Montana. The clean mountain air, the rushing creeks, the shady woods.
“You miss it?” he murmured.