Page 21 of Born in the Spring

I had no reason to follow; I already had my piece and shewas on a mission to get her own, so I stood in quiet awkwardness with her back to me, then hurried back out, deciding to set up a spot for us to sit in front of the fire with pillows—pending and praying she didn’t mind sitting on the floor with me, and I had a feeling she wouldn’t mind.

I waited to eat more of my cake until Elara was eating hers too, listening as she walked back in just a minute later. My ears picked up every one of her sounds, from when she kicked off her boots to then collect them and plop them somewhere else.

As she dropped down onto her pillow—sitting on the floor for me, my head hurrayed—her arm brushed mine, and I forced my stare on the fire, while my side vision rebelled to continue trailing her, from her long legs stretching out, like mine were, to the tips of her toes. She also leaned back against the coffee table, like I was.

“Have you stopped breathing?” she asked with a trace of teasing in her voice, on top of some confusion, but it was that trace, her attention to the fact that Ihadstopped breathing, that gusted a breath back into my lungs. Because that’s what she did. She stole every breath I had and gave them back to me at the same time.

“Sorry, I—” My voice cut off the moment my gaze met hers, failing an attempt to downplay what just happened, as my eyes gave me up and roamed over her bare firelit skin, my air thinning again as my heart stalled.

Silk.

She followed my stare down, then released a sigh—but it was soft, so just a breath? Her legs rubbed slowly together—to hide herself away or from some effect of my eyes on her like this?

I looked away as my mind answered with the formers,before I could make up the latters, only knowing making Elara uncomfortable was not even close to what I wanted.

“Sorry,” she repeated, her low tone now saying she realized too that I’d never seen this much of her skin before. “I’ll grab one of the blankets.”

“No,” I blurted, stopping her shift to stand, then sighed as she did, getting a handle on my hormones. “You’ll get too hot,” I reasoned, feeling my covered legs already warm so close to the fire, thoughshehad more to do with the rise in temperature. My face flamed with the last word as I met her watching and waiting eyes again. She was so close. “It’s fine. You’re fine.” I was talking through breaths now, and her lips parted with one of her own as I forced my stare to the flames. “I’m fine.”

She shifted back against the table, the light graze of her arm into mine relaxing me, then she raised her fork. “Cheers to nighttime snacking.” Her smile drew mine, and I clinked my fork against hers. “Don’t tell Vanessa on me.”

I chuckled, cutting into another bite of my cake as she cut into her first. “I’ll keep your secrets.”

She hummed around her bite and the sound vibrated right through me. “I don’t know how I’ve gone my entire life without your mom’s cooking.” My swallow was less than smooth as I interpreted her words as her not knowing how she’d gone her entire life without beinghere. “That’s another. Don’t tellmymom.” She raised her fork again, but now as a weapon.

I blocked it with mine, saying in a conspiratorial whisper, “I won’t.”

She clinked our forks in another cheers, then dove in for another bite.

“And now you don’t have to,” I started, my voice loweringagain on the last words as her eyes reconnected with mine, with her lips paused in a pucker around that fork. “Go your entire life,” I finished, strengthening my voice, hoping now that she was here, she would stay here forever. “You’re family, Elara. You can have her cooking as long as you want it.”Forever.

She held my gaze a moment longer, then pulled the fork from her mouth to finish her bite, looking away from me and down at her plate in a blink. “I’ve gotten that sense. That everyone here is family. That’s one reason I love working here so much.” I opened my mouth to shut down her generalization and keep it about her, because it was, when she shut me down and lifted me up in her next breath. “But you’re the first to say it to me personally.”

She didn’t look at me as she said it, but her lips curved around her next bite, which curved mine. And it could’ve been that, or where we were, andhowwe were, sitting in front of a fire, in low lighting, our arms brushing anytime one of us moved even an inch, that made me respond the way I did.

“So…is this our first date?”

Her curved mouth stretched to a full smile, but she still didn’t look at me, only shaking her head at the plate. And I never knew if that motion was anoor asilly Jasper, at it again.

I could get a handle on my hormones, but not my feelings, or my flirting. But Elara was used to this, to me.Thiswas expected.

I knew she wouldn’t play along, or playintome, because I wasn’t playing, regardless of how playful I made myself sound as some shield to rejection. The first time my emotions snowballed with her, it was just that—me pouring my heart out, with no expectations because I couldn’t have any, and so she never outright rejected me. It was just something that’s alwaysbeen there. She never told me to stop when I just couldn’t help myself. So, I took her smiles, and her headshakes, as answers to keep being me.

I took another bite of my cake—Elara was already halfway finished with hers—but she had stolen my appetite. With her near me, I couldn’t have cared less about that cake. I wanted her to feed me her words. I wanted her to keep talking and I wanted to take in everything she had to say. So as she got quiet, I asked her something else I knew, something I noticed even during the planning stages of the party.

“Why don’t you like celebrating your birthday?”

She gave me a side glance, pulling a bite of her cake from the fork with just her teeth. “What makes you think I don’t?”

I had to squeeze the life out of my plate again to stop myself from thumbing the frosting off the corner of her lips. “Because I know your smiles.” She gave me another side glance, with a smile, one I actually had yet to see—skepticism—and it was so fast and such a shock to my system, I laughed. The frosting still on her lips was an added touch, a literal one that couldn’t be made by me, but I was eased enough now to watch her do it. “You got some. . .”

Elara followed my finger to the corner of my mouth, then quickly looked to the fire as she fingered away the frosting from hers, releasing a chuckle and giving me a low, “Thanks.”

“You have your real smile and you have your nice smile,” I continued on, because while that skeptical one was cute as hell, I needed her to know she had my attention too. That if anyone ever made her feel like she was on the outside of things, it wouldn’t be me.

But I apparently didn’t place enough emphasis because her smile now was teasing as she placed the emphasis herself. “Mynicesmile?”

“Yourworkingsmile,” I clarified, blowing past getting into how weak I was forallher smiles. “Your people-pleasing smile.”

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