Page 16 of Born in the Spring

“This is the main lodge, right?” she asked through the remains of her smile, with another flit of her gaze toward the building.

“Yeah,” I released through the remaining breaths of mine. “I can show you around.” I managed to get out the last word with some extra push to hurry off with me as she looked past my shoulder at the hurried footsteps coming up behind me.

“I think I’ll be doing that.”

Shepherd’s hand came down on my shoulder as he came into our space and I shrugged him off.

“I can do it.” Myback offstare, that was just living on my face today, was more discreet with him, with Elara standing and staring right here. And being a tour guide was kind of my job, that I wasn’t paid for, that Dad told me to do to make myself useful, that I took on when I felt like it, and right now, Ireallyfelt like it. I wanted to show Elara around while showing herme, who I was, and let her show me who she was too. Again, I couldn’t explain it, but everything inside me had to know her. Everything inside me needed my brother tonotswoop in like another knight in cockblocking armor.

But he did. He lifted his hand for a shake and he got hers.Hegot to touch her. She wrapped her fingers around his, and he didn’t even have to introduce himself.

“Shepherd Cassidy,” she said for him, with a friendly smile.Friendly,I told myself.It’s not flirty, like it was with me.

I didn’t blame Shepherd for everyone knowing who he was at first glance. And I didn’t blame anyone else when they didn’t recognize me; it wasn’tmyface in the media then.

But itwasme who caught Elara’s eye. And she gave me a second of assurance with that, as she glanced back over at me with her palm swallowed by his, a blink and miss it moment. I almost had blinked and missed it.

“That’s me,” my brother confirmed, with a modest tone, like he tripped into his identity rather than chose it.

Elara took her hand back first, and I stayed silent, waiting for Shepherd to blunder, waiting for her to give him the rude awakening that she was too young for him.

But the one who got rudely awakened was me.

“Are you new to the area?” Shepherd was creeping up with the flirting, feeling for a way in, and still, I waited.

“New-ish,” she answered, and my brother laughed, and no offense to Elara, but my eyes couldn’t help but roll at him.

“Oh yeah? Need a job?”

“Wouldn’t hurt,” Elara said with a small laugh back, and still, I waited. “That’s actually what I’m here for. I have an interview with—”

“Amie Cassidy. Our mother. You’re Elara?”

“You’re the new nanny hire?” I blurted my question through Shepherd’s with a sinking in my chest, all my fantasies for the rest of the day, and maybe the rest of my life, dashed. Our ski nannies—or just nannies when it’s not the ski season—had to be at least twenty-five. Which meant Elara was at least twenty-five. Which meant she wouldn’t realistically go for me, a seventeen-year-old who now didn’t stand a chance.Iwas tooyoung forher.

“I appreciate your confidence, but not yet,” Elara was saying, while I was submerged in sinking, wilting backward in my certain defeat, staring somewhere off toward the tops of trees, not wanting her to see the loser my brother and everyone else sees all the time.

I’d never hated the universe more than right then.

Shepherd secured my blunder by saying something about letting histeenagebrother get back to whatever I was doing so she wasn’t late.

Just do it. Take her too.

They both disappeared from my side vision as they walked together toward the lodge. I faced their backs, now that they weren’t facing me, and watched them laugh together, releasing all the breath I’d been holding from the past minute in the loudest sigh. Nothing to me felt veryha haanymore.

It was when their synchronized feet hit the porch that Elara looked back at me. Another blink and miss it moment, but for the second our eyes met again, a question crashed into, then floated around my brain that I didn’t ask her until years later.

Court shot out from the door, stalling and staring after them as they passed, before looking at me. He then shot over and stood beside me as we both stared down the door, now empty of Elara and my brother. “I came down to drag him away.” He pinched at my shirt. “Maybe you should’ve kept this off.”

A laugh blew from my nose, but my mouth stayed flat. “No use. He’s more in her league.”

“Oh.” Court waited for more, and when I couldn’t give him the rest right away, he prodded, “Well, come on. We’ll get more beer.”

A corner of my mouth tipped up at that, and I forced myfeet to follow him off, lagging a bit behind.

I saw her first.

I met her first.

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