Page 86 of Break Your Fall

They’re all watching me, waiting for me, together for me.

Here for me.

A small, soft smile on each of their faces.

I remember what I was feeling, what I was thinking as my father and his letters sat heavy on my heart the whole walk home.

I need my friends.

The tears slide down both cheeks when I finally blink and move closer, a lightness now in my chest. Tommy holds out his hand to me and I take it, our fingers touching first, sliding to our palms as he pulls me in. He pushes the box of letters back and I sit in its place, bouncing as I get comfortable. I wipe at my face as he opens the box, him, Camille, and Julian each reaching in for a letter. Their eyes meet mine, their stares asking if this is okay, if this is what I want.

I nod, then take out a letter for myself, hearing the ripping of envelopes as I tear open my own, shaky but determined. And ready.

I go first, then they follow after, each of us taking turns reading and talking about the words we read until every last letter is out of the box.

Thomas

Reyna’s gleaming, and I can’t take my eyes off of her. She’s holding a letter, the last one she saved to add back to the box—Julian and Camille helped with clean up before they left us alone—and it’s her favorite one. The one where Dominic talks about how if Reyna gives him the chance to be in her life, he would never leave her again. How he wants to be here, he wants to be permanent like he should’ve been all along.

A lot of the letters detailed pieces of his life, some things about her sister, and each one we read gave Reyna more hope, more confidence in her father, in the decision she was making before our eyes as our mouths moved over his words.

I know what her father said about the letters, but Reyna’s needs come first.

She’s got this, and she knows it now.

Her smile falls and she sighs, placing the letter inside the box, and I snap out of my scrutinizing.

“Where’d you go?”

“To Banks,” she says, sounding somewhat surprised at herself, then the corner of her mouth tilts in a sad smile. “I kinda wish he was here for this, too.”

I make a face, shaking my head, and as serious as I can, I say, “I don’t think he can read.”

Reyna smacks my arm with a laugh. “It’s not about that.”

It’s about presence.

“You really like him,” I acknowledge, and she nods, looking off toward her closet.

“Not in the way he wants me to, but … yeah.” Reyna turns a side-eye up at me, her lips slightly pursed, drawing my eyes, my thoughts wandering to risky places until they’re wiped clear from my brain when she teases, “And I think you like him, too.”

I shrug, then tease back, “Well, not in the way he wants me to.” Reyna’s smile stretches mine, but then my face goes lax as I adamantly shake my head. “No. I really don’t.”

“You will one day,” she states with complete certainty that makes me believe I actually will until I shake my head again.Nope.Not even Reyna can remove the bad taste that coats my mouth whenever I think about that guy. But I know with the challenging look she shoots me as she closes the lid on the box, she’s going to try.

“Are you ready?” I ask with a nod toward the box.

“Yes?” she questions, then shrugs. “I still don’t really know how to feel. But I guess that’s the only way to find out, right? To see him. To hear his words face to face.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

She smiles at me, but shakes her head. “I have to do that part on my own.”

“You’ll call me after?”

“If not during,” she jokes, poking fun at herself in a way that makes me think of her dad, widening her eyes at my smile.

“Just remember,” I say. “You belong there.” She holds my stare a moment, letting the words she’s always reminded everybody else and used to remind herself be said back to her as I add, “You belong.”

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