Page 71 of Break Your Fall

I take steps in that direction and Mom springs up, causing the table to jostle. “You—” she cuts off her scolding and I halt my feet, my stance sturdy and unwavering. She drops her fork with a laugh down at her guests, apologizing for me—forme—and then rounds the table. She grabs my arm, not bothering with subtlety this time as she yanks me out of sight to the hall.

“What are you doing?” she hisses as she releases me.

“Did you know I have a sister?”

Mom sighs like she’s bored. “It’s been eighteen years, Reyna. I’m sure that man’s gotten around since then.”

“Sheiseighteen,” I say, and her face falls with the same realization that I had, but she deflects the pain to me.

“That must’ve been rough.”

“Yeah, it is, isn’t it?” I deflect back, wanting her to feel the hurt as much as I do.

Mom makes a face. “And just how do you know all this?”

“She tracked me down and told me about the letters.”

She’s quiet at that, but she’s not denying anything. She can’t now. My mother can’t tell me any more lies about my father.

She grips her hips and just stares at me, not saying a single word for herself.

I feel my anger build behind the sting in my eyes and my nose. “How dare you.”

“Oh, give me a break—”

“Where are they?” I ask again. “Why did you keep them from me?” I try to hide the betrayal I’m feeling in my voice, but every piece of me she’s broken begs to be seen. She’s my mom. I’ll always expect her to be one. And she’s always going to know when she falls short.

“Why do you think, Reyna?” She practically snaps the words, giving in but still defensive. “The man left us. Then he decidesout of the blueto start writing my daughter?” A scoff. “A little too late.”

“That’s not up to you,” I assert, shaking my head, then I press, “Where are they?”

Her eyes hold mine a second longer before sliding past my shoulder toward the kitchen. She needs to be rid of me. Being gone this long is suspicious enough, and she has to avoid too many questions when she gets back to the table.

“In the back of my closet,” she says through a sigh of defeat, and I hurry past her to get to her room, but she grabs my arm again and pulls me close, the smell of wine and seafood wafting in my face with her next words. “You asked for this.”

I yank out of her hold and escape to her bedroom, shutting the door with my back pressed firmly against it, waiting a few seconds to hear her retreat before I move.

I find them in a box under her pair of black hooker heels—Camille’s words—and silk robe. One shake fills the closet and my head with the light shuffling of my possible future, and I know it’s them without having to open the lid. They’re heavy in my hands and I can’t stand up; I can’t run off with them, my body unsure if it wants this to be real.

I slide to the floor from my crouched position, my legs tucked beneath me, the design on the lid blurring as I rest the box on my lap and listen to my heartbeat. The vague sounds of people leaving the house filter through the pulses.

The closet has grown darker and my feet have gone numb by the time I’m ready to stand.

21

Father of Mine

Thomas

By the time I return Banks’s console to Julian’s house, I’m pissed off he hadn’t come to get it himself. And it’s not because Ilike him a little bit—I don’t want the guy and his gnats back in my guest house, but I also don’t want to touch anything else that belongs to him.

I walk through the door the same time Camille walks up from the hall wearing what I can only describe as a post-sex look; her hair is a mess, she has on one of her extra long shirts that stops at the knee, and … glasses.

Julian only cements my perspective by walking up a moment later looking fresh from a shower.

“Why are you wearing glasses?” I ask Camille as she takes them off and tosses them onto the island, too aggressive for someone who would actually need them.She doesn’t.She exchanges a look with Julian and rolls her eyes at his smirk.

“No reason,” she says, straightening out her hair, and I make a face, moving on to the console in my hands—the thing that could’ve made it all worth it—before my brain tries to violate me with images of those two in a back bedroom.

---