Page 62 of Break Your Fall

I swipe it back. “Did you get a nose job?”

“Check it out.” He gives me his profile, modeling his new nose with pride. “Looks real, right? Somebody at the theater did it for me.”

“Why?” I ask with a face, no longer able to help myself. This is too great.

“I have to impress a girl.”

“By looking like Pinocchio?”

“That’s what I said! Her nose looks just like this”—he points at it—“so she has to be a liar. There’s a reason her nose is so pointy. So, I fucked up and hurt her feelings.”Big surprise.“Yeah, it happens,” he says like it’s rare. “But I need to get laid and she wanted me, so this is my apology.”

“And you think by puttinghernose onyourface, she’s going to—”

“It’s nothernose,” he cuts in, but I’m gone, leaving the room before he sees me cracking the hell up. “I saw your smile, dude!”

Later that night, I’ve mistakenly thought I’d be able to tolerate this guy when he brings a girl over while I’m trying to relax and read one of my mom’s books on the couch. Her laugh pulls me right out of the book and I heave a sigh heavy enough to rustle the pages.

“What’s your name again?” the girl asks him.

“Banks.”

“What’s your first name?” she clarifies, and a chuckle vibrates my throat.

“Banks.”

I drop the book over my face, hoping this girl doesn’t try to call him Banks Banks.Which is what I would do,I think with another chuckle.

“Oh,” she says instead, sounding as confused and disappointed as I do around him every day.

“I wanna try something with you,” Banks says next, his voice closer to the hall now. “It’s called the Pinwheel. I’m gonna love it.”

“No,” I burst out as I spring off the couch, the book flying off my face to the floor. The two jolt to a stop as I stand in front of them. “You’re not …pinwheelinghere.”

Banks holds up a finger to the girl’s face, then walks closer to me. “Hey. If you’re the reason I get blue balls tonight, I’m gonna destroy all your orange balls,” he threatens through a hiss.

“Do it,” I tell him through a hiss of my own. “My balls arereplaceable.”

“Dude, your lips are quivering.” He points at me and smiles. “You wanna laugh.”

What is this goal for him to get me to laugh? I laugh out loud, exaggerated and harsh, not letting him think I’m even the slightest bit amused by this.

“Justgive into me,” he urges.

“Quit calling me dude,” I urge back. “I’m not your dude.”

“Okay, I’m getting some weird kind of vibe here,” the girl pipes up with a wave of her hands between me and Banks.

“What?” Banks and I protest the implication in unison as she starts skirting around us toward the front door.

“And I don’t normally do this, anyway, so I’m gonna go.”

Now Banks protests the girl’s exit, but she’s gone before he can finish. He smacks his lips as he stares me down and my chin lifts higher, daring him to try me.Enjoy your blue balls.He makes a face at me, and then we separate, Banks now at my back as he huffs down the hall.

His stay gets worse when he tries to give me interior decorating advice because he can’t quit running into things.

“We’re gutting this place,” he insists after he gets into a fight with his headset cord and the corner of the coffee table, then slams his knee into the side of the couch right after. “No furniture. No walls. Open space, and that’s it!”

I let him see me laugh this time,athim as I proceed to ignore his request that’snot happening.

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