Page 52 of Break Your Fall

I move to leave before she can reload her gun and take shots at my self-esteem, but she halts my feet with a different weapon.

“Wanna help?”

My eyes drift to hers, to the sincerity in her question, wondering how long it will last.

“I could use it,” she encourages with a small humbled smile, and I smile back despite myself.

My mother isn’t the best cook. No matter what she believes. It’s a lacking skill she can’t fake herself out of for those who know. Those like Aspen and Riley now, who are the reason she’s doing all of this.

I cross my arms. “If it involves cooking, I learned from you.”

“Well,” she says with a wave of her hand, then uses that same hand to pick up a glass of wine she’d set to the side. “Two is better than one.” She takes a gulp, then encourages me more as she returns the glass to its spot. “Come on. Come over here. Help.”

“Help you impress Aspen and Riley, you mean,” I say as I find myself joining her behind the bar.

“Well, who else?”

I hold her eyes and let my stare do the talking, because my brain is exhausted from this merry-go-round.

She sighs. “You know what I meant, Reyna.Now.Pick up that recipe and read off the third line.”

I read off the line and she starts mixing flour, salt, and garlic. “When are they coming?” I ask, my eyes on her moving hands.

“Lunch. You going to join us? I’m making enough.”

“Oh, you’re making enough for your own daughter?” I mock with a straight face.Don’t bother.

Mom gives me a look, then goes back to mixing. “I’m trying. You can’t say I’m not.”

I roll my eyes. “You’re trying for aman. Two of them. You’re not trying for me.”

“Me, me, me, me,” Mom spits as she shoves the mixture aside, giving me a jolt. “We’ve been over that I’m doing this forus. Everything’s always a battle with you.”

My eyes widen and water. “And who started the war, Mom?”

“And I’m waving the flag,” she says with a wave of her hand. “You know, you might not like the circumstances, but you’re still getting what you asked for. I don’t see why you can’t be happy about that. And besides,” she adds with a fluff of her red curls. “New hair, new woman, right?”

She says as she gulps more wine.

“Riley said he might be falling for me,” she whispers giddily at my ear, and I fight my instinct to share in her excitement.

“Riley’s gay,” I quip, and she stares unamused before I make an incredulous face. “And, what? You just met.”She must have chosen the witch’s brew.

“So? Fourth line,” she orders with a snap at the recipe. I read off the line and she starts mixing beef broth and an array of spices as her stare and voice turn dream-like. “I wonder what that’s like. Being with a man who loves me.I’mnot there, but. . .”

If this wasn’t my mother talking, I would feel sad for her. I almost do, anyway. Aspen’s one of the good ones and Valerie Stokes snagged him.

My thoughts wander to my own situation, to my good one, to my Tommy.

My Tommy.

I’m in limbo, suspended in this space between friend and calling him my own.

This would be the moment where I open up to my mother, try to secure the comfort of some motherly advice, attempt to bond over a similar experience.If Valerie was capable of such things.

The difference is, Tommy is already there. It’s not just a possibility anymore. And it’sTommy. I already love him.

I had to be with Julian to know we’re not right for each other.

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