Page 106 of Break Your Fall

There’s a buzz in my body, the buzz one feels when everything is about to change, when every dream you’ve ever had is about to come true. I felt the beginning sparks as I tucked myself into bed last night, the energy tossing me around under the sheets. A warning and an anticipation that this day will be different.

I’m not a runner. I don’t run from my life and the things I want. This isn’t me.

I’m not running,I scold myself. I’m trying to hold on to what Tommy and I already have. I’m trying to hold on to the friendship. But the thought nags at me that by not letting us be more, when more is what we both want, and maybe what we were always meant to be, I’m missing out on the love I’ve always wished for.

On the love I feel in return.

I grip the side of my pillow, my eyes opening, my lips parting on an exhale.

I jumped.

All I had to do was open my eyes and my mind and my heart to Tommy, and I fell completely in love with him.

He was always there, always right in front of me, perfect in every way. My heart beats for him, races at the thought of him, at the phantom feeling of his touch on my skin, his arms around my body. The way he’s there, the way he cares for me. The way he strips me down with one wanting look.

The way he reminds me I am the sun.

My heart aches now with each racing beat as I remember most of the things I said to him that drunken night in the guest house.

I want him. I want us.

My breathing quickens with the beats and I close my eyes again.

I can’t keep my feelings in much longer. I’ve already let a lot of them go while intoxicated. I can’t keep this ache in my chest of not being with him.

We’re forever.

And now he’s staying.

The rainbow, Reyna.

I open my eyes at the thought, and in this one moment, I finally let the good feelings, the anticipation, the excitement of theusto come course through me, my body doing a jig under the covers, my legs kicking up the sheets as a smile parts my lips.

I settle with a sigh, my smile up at the painted stars on my ceiling as they twinkle back at me.

All of my dreams are coming true.

And just a month ago, when I felt broken and alone, I had no idea I was about to be swept off my feet.

I turn a blush into my pillow.

Laughter reaches my ears from the kitchen and I groan into the pillow now, my mother and Aspen’s glee spoiling my own.

They’re still laughing once I emerge from a shower in my favorite green dress, huddled together behind the bar. I slow my steps—no, Aspen is laughing, my mother is giggling. Giggling. Aspen has turned my mother into a giggler.

I approach the bar, drawn in by this new sound coming from my mom’s mouth and all the fuss, noticing Riley behind them at the stove, the smell of burnt bacon wrinkling my nose.

“Morning, Glory,” Aspen greets me, spotting my presence first, his smile playful, and if he were anybody else, I’d probably laugh at the play on words.

“I see you missed my text,” Mom says after looking up, noticing me now. I didn’t miss her text; I ignored it. “We have news.” Her grin is excited as she repeats that three-word text message in a way that sends a warning chill down my spine. Something bad is coming, and I have to get my good news out first before her dark cloud can rain all over it.

“Me, too,” I say, a smile forming all on its own at the thought. “I’m gonna be on the gallery walls. I found someone who believes in me and wants to hold a showcase for my work.”

“Hey, congratulations,” Aspen cheers for me as Mom’s eyes widen, missing the jab in my words, as I have yet to reveal that I’m talking about Dad, and because Aspen and Riley are here, she makes a show of gaping excitement, her hand reaching for me across the bar, instead of her typical unenthusedThat’s great, babebefore walking out of the room.

“Oh, babe! I knew it would happen. So, where is it? And when?”

“Because you’ll be there?” I ask, the sting in my eyes immediate, knowing that once I tell her where, she won’t be.

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