Page 103 of Break Your Fall

“You guys are incestuous,” my sister says at the fade of her smile.

“We’re not related,” Banks shouts, still at the stereo, and with a groan from Camille and a laugh from Julian, we all register that he’s been playing “Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit of)...” as we watch him bounce around. “Dude, this is my song!”

“He’s not wrong,” Julian says with another laugh.

Banks gives us a full performance once the chorus hits, pointing to me as he mouths the last line, and I can’t help my smile.

Neither can my sister. She only lets it show when she’s turned away from him, but I spot the tiny grin she wraps around the rim of her water glass. I follow her with a teasing smile as she rounds the bar to the sink, finishing the job Tommy started.

“Do you secretly like him?”

Jessa laughs at me. “Not so fast. I don’t like people secretly.” I flush at the look she points at me. “I’ll admit he can be cute and funny,” she says about Banks, her back against the counter as she watches his ongoing performance. “But if you tell him that, he’ll become less cute and funny.”

I laugh now, because it’s true. Give Banks any compliment and he’ll become more entitled and ego-inflated.

I watch as Tommy stalks over to Banks and the two fight over the stereo, Tommy turning it off and Banks turning it back on, over and over, both refusing to relent as Lou Bega’s voice goes in and out. I’m laughing again as Julian goes to break it up, and Camille joins me and Jessa with cleaning up, rolling her eyes at the boys, as we wait for the pizza.

I’m on the couch, the last to finish my dinner. I suck a fallen piece of pineapple from between my fingers and observe my friends who have all broken off into smaller groups around the living room and kitchen since finishing their pizza. Tommy is in a corner close by with Julian and Camille, telling them his news about Blareton. When I’d told them my news about being on the gallery walls, I got a simpleCongratulationsfrom Camille, of course, and Julian’s promise to be there this time.

We’ll see.

But, deep inside, with the way things have righted themselves in our group, I believe he will be.

It’s my mother I know I won’t be seeing at the gallery. I’m not going to be able to share my biggest accomplishment with her, because both of us are too hurt by the things we can’t change and too stubborn to keep trying.

At least I am, I think as I try to recall a time my mother has ever really tried.

I have to focus onthe now, on the good things coming. Not on the bad things falling behind me.

I smile as I watch three of those good things, a bittersweet feeling that tastes more sweet than bitter. Camille squeezes Tommy’s arm as he continues to divulge, then Julian adds in a word between a pause that makes Tommy laugh.

Our group is still whole—no one is separating, no one is leaving.

Not anytime soon, anyway.

And now we have a new friend. I have a sister.

Jessa and Banks—two more of those good things—are closer to my spot so I can overhear them as I tune my ears to their conversation. And I snicker as I do so at the exact right moment.

“Wanna spend the night with me?” Banks asks my sister.

“Not tonight,” she replies as she thumbs her phone screen, swaying her head to the music playing through her earbuds. I can hear the beat, but not enough of the song to say I know it.

“So, tomorrow,” Banks chimes with that entitlement all over his face, like he’s adding this to his mental calendar, but laced with a hope that has me secretly rooting for him.

“Not tomorrow,” Jessa says in the same easygoing tone she used before.

Banks’s smile drops. “Then when? I need to know what night to keep open.”

I snicker again, moving my plate from my lap to the coffee table and retrieving my water glass as Jessa slowly meets his eyes and says, “You’d keep an entire night open for me?” with a hand over her heart.

“Have you seen you?” Banks flirts, clueless to my sister’s mocking, leaning in to snipe one of her earbuds. She lets him, watching as he listens to the song she has playing. He makes a face at the tune, but then he nods. “You like heartbreak. I can help with that.” He flicks his brows at her and she flicks hers back, removing her earbud from his ear.

“So can I.”

Jessa leaves his side with a victory smirk and as he thinks no one is looking, Banks’s face scrunches around a silentOoh. But I’m looking. I’m seeing his enjoyment of Jessa’s challenge. He’s impressed by my sister.

But then he tries to cover for it, straightening up in her direction as she comes to join me, pointing after her with, “No one breaks my heart.”

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