Page 10 of Break Your Fall

“He talked to you,” I conclude around a pull of a smile, and she averts her stare with a dismissive lift of her brows that says,Yeah, he did, but I’m not talking about it. If anyone can appeal to Camille’s soft spots right now, it’s Julian. At least he’s finally showing he knows. Weallneed to make this right.

“I admire your heart, Tommy. But it’s not mine.”

My small smile drops at the verbal shield, like she’s talking to someone who doesn’t know her better. “Come off it,” I say, as dismissive of her comment as she was mine. “You have a heart. You have to show it more.”

“I’ve shown I care about her,” she proclaims.

“Not enough,” I proclaim back. “Most of the time, you act like emotions are cooties, and anyone who shows them is diseased.”

She chuckles. “Not always.” She rolls her eyes again when I maintain my serious stance. “I don’t think Reyna and I can be fixed, okay?”

“Then start over.” I hear the plea in my voice for her to take in what I’m saying, the way I’d let her in when she’d done the same with me. But she only sighs and leans back on her hands. Like with Julian with Reyna, like each time I’d tried to talk him down about Reyna, Camille’s hearing the words, but she’s not listening.

I follow her stare to the shelves that hold my collection of old DVDs and DVD player, most passed down from family members. She’s probably eyeingWrong Turn—the only movie in that franchise I actually enjoy, and her favorite one to watch with me. It’s her favorite one to watch without me, too.

My teeth clench against an unspoken jab as Reyna’s painting pops into my head, and like in that painting, the words force their way out. “You know, if you hadn’t come back, none of us would be in this position.”

“Yeah,” Camille says with a tone that’s about to deliver a truth jab and hand me my ass in one go. “Julian would still be with Reyna and you still wouldn’t have a chance.”

“Reyna wouldn’t be so heartbroken,” I correct with the same tone, then mutter down at the box, “And I still don’t have a chance.”Reyna’s now hurt over me, too.

“Yeah,” Camille says again, her tone harder, more serious. “She would just be tangled in a lie and none of us would have the chance to be happy. You’d rather that?” she asks as I’m about to tell her to shove it already—I get it.

“Of course not.”

She pushes up to sitting, her shoulder bumping mine. “Time can heal, Tommy, but healing doesn’t have a chance until you start the clock.” She taps the toe of her boot to my sneaker. “Write your story.”

You know,youwrite the story of your life.

That beach party feels so long ago, but Camille’s words make it feel like yesterday. When things weren’t as bad as they are today. The day is still being shit, and Camille is still being shit—pushing me with a now silent voice behind a loud stare to tell Reyna how I feel.

“No,” I push back, hoping this will be the last time I have to say it. I can’t dump myself on Reyna, show myselfnow. She’s already buried under a pile of everyone else’s mistakes.

Being in love with Reyna is never a mistake. But telling her I’m in love with her would be.

“Tommy—”

“She’s in a bad place, Camille,” I stress, much more than I should have to. “You should know what that feels like.” She opens her mouth to argue, but I keep mine going first. “We really hurt her, and we’re thelastpeople who should’ve done that. She needs her friends right now.”

“She needsyouright now.”

“As afriend,” I emphasize, overlooking the fact that she’s excluding herself and Julian, ignoring that their pile is the heaviest. It’s them Reyna needs the most, and she knows it.

“How long are you going to keep telling yourself that?”

“As long as it’s the truth,” I snap, my foot hauling outward as I shift to face her, the mice screaming as much as I want to. “Do you not know her at all, or do you just not care anymore?”

Camille’s brows are raised at the box I hadn’t even realized I kicked this time, and they bend in concern when she meets my stare. “I just want you to be happy.”

“I know,” I sigh out, spent from these months, these days, this life. I shift again, rest my elbows on my knees. “Maybe one day I will. But I’m not doing it this way. I’ll tell Reyna how I feel when it won’t hurt her more to hear it.”

Camille’s voice is soft, but still pushing as she says, “This is exactly what she needs to hear.”

“It’snot.”

“In the long run, itis.” Her head appears in my periphery as she tilts forward to find my stare. “And we both know Reyna doesn’t stay down for long.”

I shake my head, my voice almost lost, my left hand squeezing my right. “You didn’t see her last night. After she left Julian’s. You didn’t see her this morning before I left her room. This is different.”

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