Page 81 of Life of the Party

“Oh, you have no idea.” I managed a smile for her and set down my things. There was dead grass all over my jeans; I wiped at it absently. “Marcy’s got me wearing a tutu. Like, an actual tutu.”

“When, tonight?” Grey looked up hopefully. His blue eyes smiled at me. I grinned back; my first actual sincere smile of the day was for him. Just his voice buoyed me.

“No.” I laughed. “For her wedding, three weeks from Saturday. Remember? You’re coming with me.”

“Oh, yeah. Right…” Grey looked sheepish. He cleared his throat as a sudden silence descended over the room. Zack and Alex avoided my gaze.

“What’s going on?” I wondered. “You’re coming, right?”

“Well…we just got our recording schedule. We fly out this Sunday for the studio.”

“This Sunday? Like, four days from now?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow.” I was incredulous. “That’s exciting.”

It took me a minute to process, for this new information to register in my already-exhausted frame of mind. I smiled at him again, but this time it was forced. Really, could this day get any worse? I mean, it was awesome the guys were going to record their music. They’d worked so hard, they were so talented, and they totally deserved it. Still, I was selfish enough to wish it wasn’t happening at all. I didn’t want Grey to leave me.

“How long will you be gone for?” I wondered.

“I don’t know. A few weeks probably, maybe a month. However long it takes to make the record.” He shrugged.

“Really? A month?” My stomach sank at the thought. I was happy for him, I really was, but I couldn’t help feeling deflated. That interminable amount of time stretched out in my mind, seeming like forever, feeling that way already. Grey was going to be gone for the rest of the summer. I was going to be alone for the rest of the summer.

“Hey, I’ll be your date for the wedding,” Charlie promised, trying to lighten the mood. “I’ve even got a matching tutu I could wear.”

“Thanks, Charlie.” My voice was quiet, subdued, ignored over the sudden deafening cheers as Zack flipped his quarter expertly into the cup. It was Grey’s turn to drink then. They carried on with their game, laughing and cheering, completely oblivious to me and my utter disappointment. I stood by a moment, vexed, my arms crossed impatiently as I watched and waited for something else—more of an explanation or maybe even an apology, but none came. It didn’t help that everyone was half-cut while I felt completely sober; the cocaine seemed to have already worn off, which made me even angrier as I listened to their stupid, happy jabber.

Finally, in frustration, I headed down the hallway to my room and shut the door behind me.

I flopped down on my bed, grumbling as I dug through the dead grass inside my purse until I found my vial again. Eagerly, I snorted back the blow, doing more and more, trying to drown out the happy laughter from the kitchen with the dim buzzing in my head. Finally spent, I lay back and stared up at the ceiling, nearly overwhelmed by the sheer volume of cocaine shooting through my veins. My hands were trembling.

I looked around my room, my eyes darting rapidly as I tried to catch my breath. It was a fairly tiny space, holding just my bed and my dresser. The walls were totally bare. It was already as messy as my room had been at home, and now I had to do my own laundry. Once in a while Charlie and I would load up her car with garbage bags of our clothes and do them all in one day at the local laundromat, but for the most part they just lay wherever I threw them off at night until I was desperate for some clean ones.

I grabbed my stash of cigarettes from the nightstand and lit one. Even though I was super high now, I felt no urge to join my friends. I preferred to sit alone and feel sorry for myself, lucid enough to know life sucked, high enough it couldn’t really bother me.

Even without feeling, I knew how badly I was going to miss Grey, how I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it, even for a day. And he’d been so casual about it, so aloof—like it didn’t even matter that we’d be spending a month of more apart, like it was no big deal.

There was a sudden knock on my door. I looked towards the noise but didn’t answer until the knocking came again.

“Mackenzie?” It was Grey. The door opened to reveal him, and most of my anger melted away at just the sight. He would always have that effect on me; it really wasn’t fair. Dressed in dark jeans and a red T-shirt, his dark hair was hidden behind a well-worn hat. His perfect lips curved into a cautious smile, and his gorgeous blue eyes—though a bit bleary—gazed at me hopefully.

“Can I come in?”

“Sure.” I was twitching as I looked back up at the roof. The bed sunk as Grey laid down next to me, the springs groaning from his weight. I could smell his delicious cologne and tried to breathe it in as deeply as I could while remaining as stiff beside him as possible.

“Your room’s a mess.” He noticed with a chuckle. “What are you doing in here? Aren’t you going to come and join us?”

“No.” I shook my head, my teeth grinding.

“Why not?”

I rubbed at my nose with a shaky hand, avoiding his gaze.

“You’re mad about the recording thing, aren’t you? ‘Cause I’m missing the wedding?”

“No.” I managed to answer.

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