She focused on Rochelle instead, on her big hand gestures as she spoke—she clearly loved the sound of her own voice—and the warmth in her face when she smiled. Rochelle was instantly likable, one of those people who filled every room they walked into. But Justine was the heart of the movie—and despite her rather aloof demeanor, Sienna had nothing but respect for what Justine had accomplished. Although, from the script ofGimme Shelter, which Sienna had studied and already knew by heart, she knew Rochelle had been instrumental in getting their homeless shelter for LGBTQI+ kids off the ground. Sienna’s part in the movie might be more of a supporting role—Alexis would be its undisputed star—but it was definitely significant.
“How do you feel about Nora Levine playing the part of your mother?” Sienna asked Justine when Rochelle stopped talking for longer than thirty seconds.
“I’m not sure I have any feelings about that,” Justine replied, her face as expressionless as a blank sheet of paper.
An inadvertent chuckle escaped Sienna’s throat. This woman was just too much.
“Sorry.” Justine’s shoulders loosened, and she sat up straighter. “I didn’t mean to be flippant. This whole thing is just so weird. I mean, a movie about my life? Well, a very particular time in my life.” She paused and, probably because it was the first time that afternoon that she’d spoken more than a few sentences at once, everyone let her. “I have nothing but respect for Nora Levine and her support of the LGBT Center. And I guess that any project that has her name attached to it will get extra buzz. If extra buzz equals extra cash, that’s a double win in my book.”
Rochelle cleared her throat. “What Justine is actually trying to say?—”
Justine cut her off. “You don’t have to speak for me, Roche. Besides, these girls are here to see what we’re like. It would be awful to pretend being someone I’m not. That wouldn’t serve them at all.”
“I’m thirty-six,” Sienna said, “I’m hardly still a girl.”
“Youladies,” Justine corrected herself, “need to know that unlike my good friend here, I’m not a Hollywood person. A fake smile and a bunch of hyped-up words mean nothing to me. To be completely honest, I never even go to the movies. I’ll give you access to me and my life for a limited number of days, because of course I want this movie to work, but I’mme. I say it as it is. I don’t sugarcoat things and I don’t waste time with half-truths if I can help it.”
“Would you mind if I made some notes?” Alexis asked. “This is pure gold for my performance.”
When Alexis Dalton was first cast in the role of Justine Blackburn, Sienna had had her doubts, but she was beginning to see it was about more than pure physical likeness.
Alexis’s question made Justine laugh out loud. “You know what?” she said. “I think I like you.”
Alexis pulled her phone from her purse and furiously started to type.
“As you can imagine,” Alexis said, while typing, “now that the ice is broken, I have a lot more questions.”
“I’m sure you do.” A small smile appeared on Justine’s lips.
Sienna took it all in. Alexis was right. This access to the real people they were going to play was a gold mine for them as actors—although it added to the pressure to get it right. Sienna had only played fictional characters so far in her career and her father, who knew a thing or two about acting, had advised her against auditioning for the part because of his firsthand experience playing a real person and the havoc it could wreak on your career. Her father also had three Oscars on his vanity shelf.
Sienna sought acting advice only from her dad, because based onherfirsthand experience, this was his only area of expertise. Yet she hadn’t listened to him when it came to this movie. The Charlie Cross script had been too enticing and the prospect of telling an important story about actual lesbians too good to pass up. Being part of this movie meant something to Sienna on an elemental level that her father probably couldn’t fathom.
“I’m here for all your questions too.” Rochelle shot her one of her warm smiles.
“Do you remember when you first met Justine?” Sienna asked.
“How could I ever forget?” Rochelle’s smile widened. “Although it was hardly love at first sight.”
Chapter2
Justine had told her story so many times, it didn’t hurt her anymore. The pain had been plastered over with the good things she had built on its foundations. Pain, and anger most of all, was a powerful motivator. But sitting across from Alexis, across from the person who would portray her when she’d been in such a vulnerable, precarious stage of her life, was a little startling.
When Justine had met with Charlie Cross, theGimme Shelterscriptwriter, she’d been matter-of-fact, listing the events of her youth as though dictating a shopping list.
When I was sixteen, in a fit of teenage rage, I told my parents I was a lesbian.
Just like that, they kicked me out of their house, because appearances were infinitely more important than how their only child felt.
I stayed at a friend’s house for a while. Then another friend’s, then another’s. Until I ran out of friends.
Until I had nowhere else to go but the streets.
I made my way to Los Angeles.
I was homeless and hungry for too long.
The homeless shelters I turned to were not safe places for anyone, but certainly not for a lesbian teenager or for the fellow homeless queers I encountered.