Page 1 of Nothing Heals Me Like You Do

Chapter1

Justine Blackburn shook her twenty-five-year-old self’s hand. Alexis Dalton’s grip was as light as the blue of her eyes. It wasn’t exactly like staring into a mirror and seeing her much younger self reflected, but it was unsettling. It certainly was unlike anything Justine had experienced before—and she’d gone through a thing or two in her life.

She looked to Rochelle for emotional support during this odd moment, but her friend was going through the exact same thing. Rochelle was more laid-back about these things, however. She was already pulling the actor that would play the younger version of herself into a hug. Sienna Bright was older than Alexis, because Rochelle was eleven years older than Justine. What a fucking trip.

“You look just like I did back in the day,” Rochelle said to Sienna.

Yeah right.In Rochelle’s very distorted dreams maybe.But Justine refrained from rolling her eyes. Despite everything that had brought them here, this was a special moment.

“It’s such an honor to meet you, Miss Blackburn.” Sienna turned her attention to Justine while Alexis did the same with Rochelle. “I mean that from the bottom of my heart.” Sienna Bright’s handshake was much firmer than her co-star’s, and her unflinching stare into Justine’s eyes was just as intense.

“Thank you.” Justine made sure her grip was equally strong as she met Sienna’s bold gaze.

“Casting really did an amazing job,” Rochelle said. “I couldn’t have done better myself.” Rochelle had retired from her Hollywood casting director job only a few years ago. If it weren’t for her, none of this would be happening. They wouldn’t be shaking hands with these bright young things who were about to play them in a movie about what Justine and Rochelle had built together.

Justine had read various iterations of the screenplay and she felt there was too much emphasis on her love affair with Rochelle, which had ended decades ago. But she understood that a love story made a movie more interesting or, as Rochelle had called it, ‘more watchable’. There were many parts of Justine’s life that would be much harder to watch.

However, she had insisted with the director, Mimi St James, on a light tone, despite the heaviness of the subject matter. Agreeing to her relationship—orromance, as Mimi had called it—with Rochelle being included in the script was part of that. It was also true to life. All those years ago, Justine and Rochelle had fallen in love.

Now, Alexis Dalton and Sienna Bright were going to recreate it on the big screen. It was surreal to invite these two young actors into their lives for a little while so they could get to know them for this particular, extraordinary purpose.

Justine’s motives for doing any of this had been crystal clear from the beginning. Rochelle had pitched her the idea in the only language she knew Justine would accept. Agreeing to this movie would bring in a ton of money for the shelter—and the shelter was what Justine lived for. If she had to sell the rights to her life for it—because that’s what they called it in the ‘industry’—then that’s what she would do. She wasn’t getting any younger and the shelter was always short of money. In that respect, it was a no-brainer. What was most baffling, really, was that someone wanted to make a movie about her life at all.

Rochelle ushered them into her living room and offered drinks. She busied herself in the kitchen, leaving Justine alone with Alexis and Sienna. She gestured for them to sit before settling into her favorite chair at Rochelle’s house.

Whereas Alexis seemed to nearly disappear in the couch, Sienna took up all the metaphorical room in it. Justine’s gaze was drawn to the actor playing her ex much more than to the actor who would be playing her. But maybe that made sense. Out of the two of them, Rochelle had always been the biggest attention-grabber. In that respect, the castingwaspretty spot on.

“Here we are.” Rochelle approached carrying a tray with four glasses and a pitcher of iced tea.

Sienna immediately offered to help, while Alexis seemed to fade deeper into the cushions.

“Let’s not be coy about this,” Rochelle said when everyone had been served a drink. “This situation is quite the mindfuck.”

Justine could have done without this part of the process. She’d be quite happy to simply sign away her life rights and cash that check, thank you very much. But she recognized that actors playing real-life people wanted some modicum of access. To spend some time with Justine and Rochelle to see how they interacted and, perhaps, study the intricacies of their movements and the inflections in their voices. Now that they were all sitting here, deep down, it was quite thrilling. Although these were not the kind of youngsters Justine was used to dealing with—the privileged and the adored. Quite the opposite.

“It’s so exciting to be here,” Sienna said. Her voice didn’t match her age. It was low and a little gravelly. “You must hear this all the time, but what you two have done and continue to do for the community is so inspiring.”

This was beginning to sound like an awards acceptance speech already. Justine didn’t care for awards, unless they came with a big fat check attached. Otherwise, they were a waste of time and energy. An award couldn’t put a displaced kid up for the night. Justine shook off the thought—her brain perhaps spiraling because she was more nervous than she wanted to be—and focused on what Sienna had actually said.

“When you say community”—Justine fixed her gaze on Sienna’s—“do you see yourself as a part of that?”

“Of course.” Sienna met Justine’s gaze and held it.

Justine had received extensive biographies of both actors, as well as a list of all the productions they’d been in. She knew full well Sienna identified as queer and Alexis didn’t, but she was just testing the waters a little, ruffling some feathers because she couldn’t help herself. Because it was her style.

Perhaps she was even doing Alexis a favor by showing her what kind of person she was—although the version of Justine that Alexis was asked to portray was very different from today’s Justine who was, granted, being a bit difficult just because she could. Too much privilege on display could still get to her like that, but it was also what kept her fire burning, even after all these years.

“I’m not queer,” Alexis said matter-of-factly. “I was told it wouldn’t be an issue.”

“It’s not,” Rochelle said, then shot Justine a look. “We’ve seen your work and it speaks for itself.”

Rochelle often spoke for them both, usually making Justine look better, so she didn’t mind that much. Justine didn’t have a lot of spare time to watch movies—she barely had time for this encounter—and she’d seen no movies that either actor had appeared in.

She smiled at Alexis regardless. “I concur.” Justine sipped from her iced tea and glanced at Alexis over the rim of her glass. The physical resemblance was there, although Alexis looked far glossier than Justine had ever done, especially at twenty-five.

Then, for the first time, Alexis widened her smile to full beam, and looked straight into Justine’s eyes, as if to say,why don’t you just wait and see, and Justine caught a glimpse of that unrelenting fire that always—like a fever that never broke—burned within her.

Sienna was glad she’d be playing Rochelle rather than Justine—not that she could ever portray a blonde white woman with blue eyes. Where Rochelle was kind, inviting, and easy to talk to, Justine was a much tougher nut to crack. She wasn’t cold per se, but Sienna figured, from the difference in their energies, that Rochelle was far more invested in this movie. Although, from a pure craft perspective, trying to get in the head, and under the skin, of someone like Justine could be a delicious challenge.

---