Page 70 of Allison

Once again without thinking, he leans down to press a kiss to her temple. He looks down at her sleeping form. She’s so beautiful and sleeping so peacefully. He thinks about the errant thought he’d just had about having more with her. He shakes his head, figuring Allison likely doesn’t want a long-term relationship, anyway.

She just needs him to help her get over whatever happened to her when she disappeared, but he hasn’t helped her, not really. Yeah, he’s taken her mind off it for a few hours at a time, worn her out so she could fall asleep, but he hasn’t used his training to get her to talk about her trauma or what’s happened to her. He is letting her down as much as he has his mom and sisters.

He backs out of the room, leaving the door ajar in case she wakes with a nightmare and needs him. “Look,” Worm continues his conversation with Wallace while heading down the hall to the living room. “We got together at the wedding. It was a one-night thing, both of us were in agreement going into it. It wasn’t a big deal, but then she went missing. I don’t know why, but things changed. I couldn’t think of anything else, except finding her, getting her safe.”

“Oh, Russell!” Emma exclaims, her voice getting that dreamy romantic tone that the men have heard from the team’s women so many times. “That’s so sweet.” She sighs dramatically.

“No. It isn’t,” Worm replies firmly. He has to shut this shit down before Emma gets carried away. “Wallace, you know that I haven’t missed a day checking on my sisters, except when we were dark while on deployment since my dad died, right?”

“Yes,” Wallace confirms, sounding a bit confused.

“I didn’t check on them for nearly a week during all of this! A week, man! They could have been in a complete mess in that length of time. You know how unstable my mom has been the last year. Allison going missing was a distraction. One that I didn’t need.” A sharp gasp behind him draws his attention. He looks around to see Allison’s retreating form. “Oh fuck!”

“What?” Wallace and Emma exclaim at the same time.

“Allison heard what I just said,” Worm answers dejectedly. “I just keep fucking everything up when it comes to her. I never should have even talked to her.”

“Russell!” Emma’s tone is scolding. “Don’t say that. I know you don’t really mean it. Just go talk to her, explain—” Emma stops speaking abruptly. The distinct ringing of her cell phone floats over the line. “It’s Allison. I’m going to take this in the other room, honey.” Worm can hear her answering her phone, her voice getting further and further away.

“Sonofabitch!” Worm exclaims, slamming his fist into the nearest wall.

“Calm down!” Wallace commands in a firm, but no longer sounding pissed off tone. “You aren’t helping the situation by losing your shit.” Worm knows the man is correct, but the last year has been more than stressful, culminating in the last two weeks, which have been utter hell.

“I know, I know,” he mutters. “I never meant to hurt her.” Worm runs his hand through his hair, leaning his head back against the wall. He just needs a minute to get his shit together before going to beg Allison’s forgiveness.

“Of course, you didn’t mean to hurt her,” Wallace agrees, “but you have, so you need to go make this right.”

“How?” Worm hates that he almost sounds like he is whining. “She knows how much my family means to me. We…we talked a lot, about our families on the drive from the airport and during the time we spent together before the wedding. It wasn’t just about the sex, Wallace. I really enjoyed spending time with her. I could even see us having a real relationship if my family wasn’t in such a mess and she didn’t live on the other side of the country from where we are based.”

“That’s how you fix it.” Wallace’s voice is so calm as if he’s figured out the answers to the universe.

“What are you talking about?” Worm is again running his hand through his hair in frustration. He has no idea how to fix it, but God help him he wants to, so badly. If only he could have Allison, manage his service, his family, and Allison could be happy to work wherever he was stationed. That would be fantastic.

“Tell her exactly what you just told me,” Wallace states. “I truly think she’ll understand and not be upset with you if you’ll explain why you said what you did.” Worm isn’t at all sure Wallace knows what he is talking about, but it’s worth a shot. While he knows he can’t have the type relationship he truly wants, he can at least mend the hurt he has caused her. He can’t make it any worse, right?

He heads down the hall to the bedroom. He knocks softly on the door, but doesn’t get a response. He tires the knob and it turns, so he enters glancing around. Allison is nowhere to be found. Where is she?

Back in the hall, he notices the bathroom door is shut. He can hear her voice from inside.Still on the phone with Emma.He pauses outside the door, waiting, and yes, eavesdropping on her conversation. He can’t hear well, but he catches snippets.

44

ALLISON

“No, Emma!” Allison whisper shouts, trying not to be too loud. The last thing she wants or needs is to have Russell come knocking on the door to check on her and ask what’s wrong. “I know exactly what he meant. Stop taking up for him.”

“Allison’s disappearance was a distraction. One that I didn’t need.”Russell’s harshly spoken words are playing on repeat in her head. She hates to admit how much it hurt to hear him say it.

She’d known from the beginning how important his family is to him. She should’ve known he didn’t have the capacity to care for her and his family. She’s basically a stranger. Yes, he knows her body well, and even though they’d talked a lot during the few days they’d spent together, they didn’t really know each other. Not well enough or long enough for him to justify neglecting his responsibilities to his family. But she hadn’t asked him to. He’d done that on his own.So, why does she feel so guilty? Why are there tears streaming down her face? Why does she care?

Allison realizes Emma is talking, but she has zoned out again and missed most of what her cousin has said. “…he’s just been under a lot of stress.”

“I know! Haven’t we all?” Allison sasses, even though until recently her stress hadn’t been anything compared to what Russell has dealt with the last year. She swipes angrily at the tears streaming down her face. She’s more than ready for this conversation to be over. She’s wasted enough time on Russell. She needs to focus on Allison and what she needs. “Please, just come get me? I’d rather deal with my parents than him right now.”

“All right,” Emma concedes, her tone sad. “If you’re sure that’s what you want.”

“It is.” Allison sighs, hoping to relieve some of the tension from her body, but it’s to no avail. At this point, she doesn’t think she’ll ever feel calm and relaxed again. “How long will it take you to get here?”

“About five minutes,” Emma answers. Allison can hear the jingle of keys and rustling sounds as Emma moves. “We live close. Curtis and I are heading out the door as we speak. I love you, Ali.”

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