Page 118 of The Slave in A Princess Disguise

"Emeriel?" Lord Herod’s voice softened as he moved closer. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I’m alright,” she forced herself to smile. “Let’s go, please. I’m sure they must have noticed my absence by now."

Lord Herod studied her a moment longer, then offered his arm, which she took gratefully. Together, they walked through the halls toward the main entrance of the estate. When they reached the gates, Emeriel turned to him.

"Thank you once again for everything," she said softly.

"There we go again. Considering how many times you’ve said that, you sound like a broken record."

"I’m sorry, My Lord," she said. "It’s just... no one has ever been this kind to me before. In the beginning, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. It took me a while to realize there was no shoe, and after...everything, it still feels unbelievable. That youwould be so kind. I guess it makes me feel better that you see my gratitude."

Lord Herod chuckled. "I see your gratitude, little Em."

"How can I ever repay you?"

He took her by the shoulders and, with a final, amused smile, guided her through the open gates, remaining on the other side. "Repay me when you become the grand queen."

Emeriel’s eyes widened. "You know that’s not possi—"

The heavy doors swung shut, his laughter, fading into the distance as he walked away.

Aekeira sat on the edge of the bed, her fingers entwined in Lord Vladya's hair. He sat on the floor, his head resting on her thighs… close to her core.

A position so crazily intimate it had made her uncomfortable. But as she stroked his black silken strands and he nestled closer, a rush of warmth spread through her chest.She liked.

It seemed now that Aekeira had finally put a name to the nagging feeling inside her, it began to blossom, making a home for itself deep in her heart.

Her love for him shone, forbidden and hidden, but alive nonetheless. Glowing like embers beneath the ashes.

The silence between them was a comfortable one. Lord Vladya still looked like he was struggling with sexlust, but there was no urgency in him now. Eyes closed, but she could tell he wasn't asleep.

"Merilyn was one of my oldest friends," his voice low, unexpected. "I watched her struggle with infertility for centuries."

Aekeira’s fingers stilled in his hair.

"She tried every herb known to man," Lord Vladya continued. "One time, out of desperation, she snuck out of Urai to visit themages. It was a foolish thing to do, the journey was risky, and she had just one guard for protection. But she was willing to risk everything for the child she wanted so badly."

He was talking to her. Sharing something personal with her.Opening up to her.Aekeira's heartsang.

"The mages couldn't grant her a real pregnancy, they do not have such powers. But they could give a fake one. They performed a spell that made her feel pregnant.” He paused. “That was over a hundred years ago. She returned so happy, even the cost of the magic didn’t sway her joy. Henry was terrified, but Merry... she wasglowingwith happiness. The magic lasted only a few hours, but in that brief time, she was the happiest I’d ever seen her."

"What was the cost?" Aekeira asked, tone soft, her hand resuming its gentle strokes.

"Paralysis." Lord Vladya’s eyes remained closed. "Merilyn sacrificed the use of her legs for two weeks, just to experience four hours of carrying a child. Basking in the feeling. That was how desperately she wanted what Ukrae finally blessed her with."

No wonder Lady Merilyn radiated such joy, even confined to her bed. Aekeira had a sinking feeling she knew where this conversation was leading.

"She’s my bloodhost, my dear friend. I should be overjoyed for her. I saw everything she went through, I should be ecstatic. And Iamhappy for her, but..."

His eyes opened, fixed on the wall. “When I look at that child, all I feel is pain. An ugly jealousy, a sadness so deep itfestersin me. I’ve never had that. I will never have that." He stated calmly, his tone aloof. "I almost hate that child. What sort of person am I that I would hate an innocent newborn? What sort of friend am I? Who have I become?”

Oh, my Vladya.Aekeira’s heart tightened in her chest. His words might have been detached, clinical even, but she was learning to read the subtle nuances of this male.

He was hurting. More than he was willing to admit.

"What sort of person can't feel true happiness for their friend without these ugly feelings tainting it?” He exhaled, the warm air caressing her thigh. “I've changed, so much. Sometimes I look in the mirror, and I don't recognize the male staring back at me.”

"You should cut yourself some slack." She patted his hair in a soothing manner, offering comfort. "You're suffering through the slow hands of a looming madness." It pained her to say the words, but she forced herself to continue. "I was reading about it the other day at the library. It helped me understand what you're going through. People lose everything they are, bit by bit. All the kindness, love, and memories are slowly stripped away, replaced by hate, cruelty, the need to hurt and destroy. The abyss of nothingness."

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