Page 128 of Wait For It

Would my body surrender easily, or continue to fight to stay alive because it was all I’d ever known?

I gripped the railing in my hands until my knuckles went white under the bright lights, wondering if there was courage in giving up.

He took a deep breath, close enough that it lifted several strands of hair from my braid. When he spoke again, his voice was low and taunting. “You’re sorry? For which part—lying about being engaged or accusing me of rape? I just want to be sure I have it right for my lawyers.”

I released a strangled breath, unable to fight the tears coursing down my cheeks. The silent sobs were a depth of pain beyond measure, a frequency of grief humans weren’t capable of hearing.

Killian’s arms moved on either side of mine, caging me. “Maybe you’re sorry for kissing me. Or for not being able to fake it when I made you come. I wonder if Brad will be able to do the same for you,” he slurred, letting the short bristles of hair on his jaw scrape over my neck. He was mocking me, not only with his words but his body as well.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the nothingness in his voice—the memories of a time when his body against mine wasn’t a threat.

Self-preservation pierced the numbness in my chest, and I turned to look back over my shoulder at him. “I think I want to go now.”

Neither one of us was leaving here a winner.

He threw his head back with a low growl. “Not until you tell me why you’re doing this.”

“You’ve already decided I’m guilty, Killian,” I ground out. “What else is there to say?”

“I don’t know, Ariana. Maybe start by telling me why you’re accusing me of rape!” He slammed his fist against the railing, just inches from my hand. “Christ, how could you? I fucking let you in—told you things I’ve never told anyone!”

I flinched in response, which only seemed to anger him further.

“Goddammit, answer me!” He grasped my wrist, pulling me to face him. “Just tell me—”

Rule number one- answer me when I ask you a question.

I hissed in pain and brought my other hand up to his chest, pushing him away. “I’m sorry—please be gentle with me!” I sobbed. “Please! I’m so sorry!”

It only hurts if you let it…

Killian released me immediately and stumbled back. I briefly registered the flash of movement from the corner of my eye, and then Dean was in between us.

The security guard held Killian against the railing, breathing normally as if he hadn’t just crossed the beach with superhuman speed. He gave me a once-over before asking, “You okay?”

I nodded and tugged the sleeves of my v-neck sweater down over my trembling hands. “C-c-can we just have a m-m-minute?”

“You sure? I don’t mind staying—”

I took a deep breath. “I’m okay.”

“I’ll stay close in case you change your mind.”

Killian straightened his shirt, waiting until Dean was a reasonable distance down the dock. When he approached me, his hands were raised in surrender.

My heart sped up, each beat pulsing in my ears as his intense gaze moved down my body. This wasn’t lust, though. Killian was cataloging my injuries.

“Don’t—please.” I ducked my head and turned away, feeling stripped of all dignity.

“Ari, look at me,” he pleaded softly. “Please.”

I channeled my pain into stubborn determination and shook my head. “Was there anything else you wanted to say, or can I go now?”

“Please.”

I slowly turned around to find the fight gone from his eyes. He gazed down at me with a look of anguish I felt in the place my heart used to be.

Killian cupped my chin in his hand. I let him tip my face up, longing for the numbness from before. I didn’t want to feel anymore.

---