Page 65 of Savior

It surprised me to know that Grey had been an addict. Then again, I’d built him up to something close to a god in my mind. Up there, he could do no wrong.

“So,” I said, trying to get us back on topic. “Instead of telling me how long you’ve lived in the country, you’d rather do shots?”

Her laugh brought back memories of the three of us belting out our favorite songs in the car on the way home from school. “This isn’t the kind of tequila you shoot. According to Angel, it’s meant to be sipped, like a glass of whiskey. And, if we’re going to dredge up the past, I’d like a drink in my hand. What about you?”

“Tequila and I have a complicated relationship,” I hedged.

“Ah, sounds like you and the rest of the world have something in common.” She clicked her tongue against her teeth while looking through a cabinet. “The closest thing I’ve got to stemware are these jelly jars. A glass is a glass, though. Right?”

I shrugged as she poured a little into each one. My one and only experience with tequila had ended with Nate’s face between my thighs and then, very suddenly, my head in his toilet.

“To…” My mother paused with her glass raised. “Oh, hell. To the shit that made us who we are!”

“To the shit,” I repeated, clinking my glass to hers. We each took a small sip of the amber liquid, recoiling at the burn. “You’re sure we’re supposed to sip it?”

Her lips puckered as she admitted, “I don’t know. I got drunk on amaretto andDr. Pepperonce in high school, but that’s about the extent of my knowledge of drinking.”

I nodded and knocked the contents in the glass back before pouring another. “I think the only way this is going down is like a shot. We just won’t tell anyone.”

My mother agreed, and after four glasses, the lead in my gut had dissipated, leaving me relaxed. The afghan now hung off of one shoulder while the other side trailed along the hardwood floor, but I made no move to right it.

“So, to answer your initial question,” Mama began, her cheeks flushed from the liquor. “I’ve lived out here since you were taken from me.”

I stopped tracing the rim of the jelly jar. “Taken? You abandoned us!”

The alcohol had softened the blow of my words, making it sound as though I were merely confused, not upset.

She shook her head slowly before knocking back another shot. “Nope. Taken. Your grandmother came to the house one day and gave me an ultimatum—deliver you and Dakota to their house by four o’clock sharp, or go to jail and never see either of you again.”

“J-jail?” I slurred. “What would you have gone to jail over?”

“Well, for Angel, she was pushing for child pornography charges. Me?” She tapped a finger against her lips. “I think it was drugs... maybe trafficking for the club. I blocked a lot from that day, to be honest.”

Most of my childhood memories had become little more than blurs as I grew into adulthood, punctuated by only the briefest flashes of clarity.

The day we were left with my grandparents was a moment that had been seared into my brain permanently, though. I remembered watching my mother’s face, searching for signs of remorse, but only seeing grief.

“I was so angry at you that day,” I admitted. “Your face was pale, and I remember, you were making these sounds as you sobbed. At the time, it didn’t make any sense. Why leave if it upset you that much? Why not just stay and fight for us? But you never had a chance, did you?”

She stared down into her empty glass. “I tried. Angel and your dad went to everyone they knew, hoping to call her bluff.”

I knew it had all been for nothing.

Nan had gotten just what she wanted, and we’d eaten up the narrative she’d served, starving for an explanation for why our mother no longer wanted us.

“Why not just kill her?” I clapped a hand to my mouth when it dawned on me what I’d just suggested.

My mother just smiled. “I thought Angel was going to after she accused him of prostituting children—”

“How?” I asked. “How could she ever look at that man and see a predator? He needed a family, and we needed him. There was never anything more to it than that.”

“You should tell him that the next time you see him. In the early days, he was so worried that you girls were going to forget about him.”

She poured another glass. “When your father found out, he swore he’d kill them both before handing you and Dakota over, but she’d planned for that. They had police protection in place for years—”

I thought back to the fact that they were both missing now. “And how do you know that maybe he didn’t follow through all these years later?”

My mother paused with the glass almost to her lips. “You have to understand, Kate, that my parents had never been supportive of my decision to marry your dad. There were so many instances over the years where he could’ve retaliated, but he never did. In the end, he knew they weren’t worth it.”

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