Page 38 of Savior

It struck me at that moment how little I actually knew about the man next to me. Angel hadn’t been around when I was growing up, I would’ve remembered, and Grey had always been tight-lipped when it came to the older biker.

“I grew up around drugs and booze… never had much use for them, though. I was busy tryin’ to impress the girl next door.” He paused to smile before continuing. “She was real religious, so I dragged my ass down to mass with her, hopin’ she’d be impressed.”

His expression turned wistful, and I wasn’t sure if it was the fluorescent lights overhead or if Angel was getting misty-eyed on me.

“We both moved on but reconnected down the road. Whatever it was we’d had between us had only gotten stronger over the years, and the second time around, I knew I was willin’ to do whatever it took to keep her.”

Thoughts of Lauren filtered in, and how she’d stuck with me after one night on the beach in Galveston. No one else had ever managed to get under my skin quite like she had. I might not have recognized it at the time, but when I saw her again in David and Elizabeth’s living room, that was it for me.

Instead of falling into the bottle or numbing my brain with blow, I should’ve spent every day showing her how much she meant to me. Maybe if I had, even with all the mistakes I’d made, she’d still be mine.

“We, uh, we got pregnant… but she lost the baby. Six years later, I lost her too.” He rushed out, running the back of his hand under his eyes. There were no sounds of creaking chairs or whispering, the room was utterly silent, with everyone watching Angel in rapt attention.

“Suddenly, the booze was the only way to make it stop hurting, you know. It numbed the pain enough for me to function—made it so I could get out of bed in the morning.” His voice cracked again, but he held it together.

Without thinking twice, I reached up and gripped the old man’s hand in mine. I’d come here convinced that no one could understand why I’d relapsed, certain that I wouldn’t get shit out of any meeting that didn’t involve an open bar. The man next to me had lost everyone he loved but was still standing.

Not only that, but it was clear he’d beaten his addictions.

It left me with a strange feeling in my chest.

Hope.

“I decided that I was gonna stay in that fucked up state until it killed me. Death didn’t scare me because if I died, I knew that I’d get to be with her again. Maybe I would’ve gone through with drinking myself to death, had it not been for her son, Jamie.”

My head jerked up at the mention of my father’s name, and Angel gave me a short nod before turning back to the room. “I’d known him since he was just a little boy. He might not have been my flesh and blood, but I loved him like he was my own. He would’ve done anything for his mama, and she seemed to come to life when he was with her.”

He pinched his lower lip between his thumb and forefinger while staring into the past. “When she… passed away, he was sixteen. I could’ve told myself that he was damn near an adult and left it, but the kid was all alone in the world, and I knew that she’d have wanted me to watch out for him.

It struck me that I might’ve known next to nothing about Angel, but I knew even less about Grey. Minus an arrest in 1994 for assault on a police officer and a forged death certificate from 1996, there was nothing. No record of death for his parents… it was as if they never even existed.

I tried to imagine being orphaned at the age of sixteen, forced out into the world to survive before graduation. Grey had not only survived but build an empire. With as mouthy as I’d been, I would’ve ended up as shark bait.

“I kept to myself,” Angel continued.

“Only giving him advice when he asked for it, but still drinkin’ to cope. I thought I was doin’ better because I was only takin’ the edge off. Wasn’t until he showed up at my house late one afternoon that things got put in perspective. He’d fallen in love… wanted me to talk him out of it. Here I thought it was obvious how much pain I was in, but he didn’t see it that way. Thought I’d forgotten about her…”

The man in the suit tapped the face of his watch with a regretful smile, and I wanted to tell him to shove the timepiece right up his ass.

Angel simply nodded. “I’ll wrap it up by sayin’ that his visit changed everything for me, made me see that I wasn’t living a life Mary would’ve been proud of. I never told him, but the kid saved my life that day. I’m Charlie, and I’ve been sober since February 1990.”

Twenty-seven years.

The room erupted into clapping and congratulations. I just stayed where I was, still gripping Angel’s hand in mine while staring up at him in wonder.

He’d done what I’d never in a million years be able to. Sure, I’d give it up for a while, but when shit got heavy, it was always going to be hovering in the background of my mind. And, just like every time before, I’d let it lure me in with its siren song until it dragged me down into the depths of full-blown addiction again.

“C’mon, Mike,” Angel said briskly. “We got places to be.”

“Where are we going?” I asked as he maneuvered through the crowded room and out into the parking lot. The evening air was mild, a sure sign that winter was giving way to spring.

He stopped suddenly in front of his pickup before turning back to face me. “You like breakfast?”

I scratched at my beard. “Yeah, who doesn’t? But you do realize it’s nine o’clock at night, right?”

“Breakfast can be eaten anytime, shithead. Everybody knows that. Hop in; I know a place.”

“Well, since you asked so nicely, old man,” I muttered before climbing into the passenger seat.

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