Page 36 of Deserter

“Mama.” My eyes filled with tears.

She pressed her lips into a flat line and began tossing the throw pillows back onto the bed beside me. “Are you going to make me repeat myself?”

I shuddered at the words, instantly reminded of the man I was trying to forget. “No ma’am.” I pulled myself from the warmth of the bed with a groan and padded into the bathroom.

The bruise on my cheek had turned a nasty shade of blue while the one Grey left on my neck was a vibrant purple. I closed the door behind me before shedding my t-shirt and cotton shorts. There was another hickey on my left breast and small bruises scattered across my hips from where his hands had dug into my skin.

It turned out that I didn’t need a scarlet S branded onto my chest, Grey’s mouth and hands had done the job quite nicely. I could hide the marks on my torso, but I’d never be able to hide the ones on my face and neck.

How could I still want a man like Grey, knowing what people would think of me?

The door opened, but instead of entering, my mother stood in the doorway with a look of horror etched onto her face. “Celia, you’re covered in bruises.”

I lowered myself into the tub and winced as the warm water lapped at my sensitive skin. When she continued to stare openly, I brought my knees up to my chest. “I’m okay.”

She finally snapped out of it and shook her head sadly. “The body is meant to be a temple. You’ve defiled yours.”

I waited until she left before letting the tears fall. With a hand over my mouth to stifle the sounds, I cried for the decisions that had been taken from me and I cried at my stupidity in thinking that a biker like Grey would ever see me as anything more than my father’s mistake.

I thought that I was lucky to be alive.

Now, I wasn’t so sure.

* * *

“Is it true?” My best friend, Diana, whispered from the sink next to mine.

I’d slipped into the girl’s bathroom to get away from the stares and whispers. It had taken two weeks before the rumors started, but they’d since spread like a wildfire around school in the days that followed.

I finished applying lip gloss, hoping that she didn’t see the way my hands trembled. “Is what true?”

Mama had said I should play dumb if anyone asked, otherwise I could forget about ever finding a decent man to marry me.

“Why would anyone ever buy the cow when they know they can get the milk for free?”

I dreaded going home. If she wasn’t giving me a lecture on keeping my legs closed, Daddy was crying and begging for my forgiveness.

I’d started taking showers twice a day, but no matter how hard I scrubbed, I still felt dirty. My feelings alternated between pangs of longing and intense hatred for Grey.

He’d done this to me.

I’d never snuck out of the house or missed curfew. I had all A’s and was going to be graduating a year early, yet none of that mattered because of him.

“C’mon, Celia. The whole school’s talking about it. Is it true you slept with an entire biker gang?”

The entire gang?

I paused and stared at my reflection. The bruise on my cheek had faded to a yellowish-green that was easily concealed with makeup. And the scarf around my neck hid the bruises left by Grey’s teeth. Other than that, I was the same as before.

I should know.

I spent a lot of time looking, especially after people began to talk. I didn’t dress like most of the girls my age did, and I’d always been okay with that. In the end, none of it mattered. They’d decided I was a whore because of what they’d heard.

I cleared my throat and turned to Diana. “How long have you known me? You really think that I’d do something like that?”

Her head dropped. “I’m sorry, Celia. I shouldn’t have asked. For the record, I think Justin started the entire thing because you turned him down for a date.”

“Maybe.”

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