Page 137 of Deserter

The nursery door was closed, and I turned the handle slowly in my hand, praying that the hinges were well oiled. It opened soundlessly and I leaned into the doorframe for support at the sight of the two of them sharing a bed.

My girls.

I’d seen Polaroids over the last few years, but nothing compared to the sight of them up close.

Kate was looking more and more like her mama. She lay on her back, with her hands folded delicately across her chest. Even as a baby, she’d always slept on her back with her little fists curled up at her sides.

Dakota was sprawled out next to her—one leg hanging off the bed and an arm that was dangerously close to hitting her sister in the face.

She was my wild and Kate was my calm.

I ran my knuckles along my jawline and mashed my lips together as I fought back tears. The feeling of possessiveness came back, stronger than ever, and I knew that I’d happily kill anyone who tried to lay a finger on them.

Feeling brave, I walked over and knelt on Kate’s side of the bed. Her dark hair fell over one eye and I brushed it back before planting a kiss against her forehead.

“Hey, Katydid,” I whispered softly. Her eyes fluttered like they used to when she was a baby, but I knew she was still out. “Daddy loves you, baby. I, uh, I just need you to know. I know I left you when you needed me most, but I’m comin’ home soon.” A tear splashed against her forehead as I leaned down to press another kiss to her soft skin before moving over to the other side.

“Kota Bear, it’s Daddy. I know you don’t remember—” My voice broke off in a rough sob and I pinched the bridge of my nose as my body was wracked with emotions.

How had I gotten it so wrong?

I sucked air into my lungs and wiped my streaming eyes before trying again. “I know you don’t remember me, baby girl, but Daddy’s gonna be comin’ home and I’m gonna fix it. I’ll be right here to keep you safe. Ain’t nothin’ gonna happen to you when I’m around, okay?”

I kissed her blonde hair. “I love you.”

By the time I made it back to my feet, the heaviness had returned, weighing me down with regret over the way I’d left things with them. I paused at their door, watching them sleep for as long as I could.

When I made it out into the hall, I scrubbed a hand over my face and stared at the pictures along the wall, reminded of a time when we were a family.

When we were happy.

I didn’t deserve them.

Not after the way I’d walked out and the things that I’d done.

Celia was still fast asleep when I slipped back inside our bedroom. I sank down on the edge of the bed and took her hand in mine. “There ain’t much that I’ve done right in this life, but you and those girls ain’t ever gonna be somethin’ I regret. You’re my everything. I know it’s gonna take a while before you trust me again, but I’m walking away from the club, princess.”

I let my other hand rest against her belly again and sniffed, fighting off another round of tears. “Get some sleep, Mama. Take care of our girls, and before you know it, I’ll be back in your bed for good. I love you, darlin’. So much that it hurts to leave you.”

I could berate myself from now until the end of time over the shitty actions that had led me here.

Right now, though, I needed to focus on turning the club over to Bear. Once I was home with my girls, I’d make up for lost time.

The knot that had been in my belly since Beaumont hadn’t lessened any with seeing my wife.

If anything, it had gotten worse.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Celia: 2000

“He did too!” Dakota cried from the backseat.

“What would I want with your stupid comics?” Kate snapped in reply.

“You knew Uncle Wolverine bought that specially for me! You’re just jealous ‘cause he only brings you dumb notebooks.”

“Mama!” They yelled simultaneously. “Tell her to stop talking to me!”

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