Page 56 of Deserter

Betsy didn’t even pick up the instructions before answering, “If it’s green or blue, it’s positive.”

Lucy managed to catch me when my legs buckled beneath me and the two of them helped me back over to the couch.

Betsy rubbed small circles between my shoulder blades as I worked to get air into my lungs. “Hey, Lucy? Would you mind grabbing her some water? I’ll stay with her until you get back.”

Pregnant at seventeen.

He’d said we were nothing.

I was fairly certain that a baby was the exact opposite of nothing.

“I—I—I can’t be.” I stared down at my bare feet and the mauve polish on my toes. I’d chosen the color for graduation, back when my only concerns were finding a dress from Yiayia’s closet to match.

Betsy waited until Lucy slipped out before asking, “It’s Grey’s?” When I nodded, her lips pursed. “Grey’s not really the settling down type, Celia.”

A tear fell to the concrete floor, and I swiped a shaking hand across my face. “I know.”

She continued rubbing my back. “And you’re so young. You don’t wanna be tied down to a place like this for the rest of your life, do you?”

I laughed bitterly as my grief poured out of me in a flood. “It’s not like I can change it now.”

“Nonsense. A girl like you deserves to see the world. All it takes is a simple appointment and you get your freedom back. College, a wedding to a man who wants to marry you, and babies when the time is right.”

I sniffed and brought my eyes back up to hers. “Are you—are you suggesting an abortion?”

Betsy looked up at the ceiling. “I can’t believe I’m telling you this, but Grey got someone in trouble before.”

The knife that seemed to be lodged in my heart moved in a few more inches at the revelation. I pressed the heel of my hand to my chest and squeaked out another incoherent sob.

She nodded. “The girl went to him and do you know what he told her? To get to an abortion clinic and take care of it because it wasn’t his problem.”

My arms went around my body and I began rocking. “If my parents find out—we’re Catholic.”

I wasn’t sure why I felt the need to explain my family’s religious affiliation, but it seemed important. Pregnancy out-of-wedlock… abortion… it went against everything I’d been taught.

“Honey, they don’t have to know. It’s a simple procedure—you fall asleep and when you wake up, your problem is gone. You cramp and bleed like you do when you get your cycle, but that’s it.”

“You’ve had one?”

Betsy looked over at the door before leaning in. “I’ve had three. Then, I got pregnant with my Michael and I just knew I was ready. Things were so different. So, we’ll just fix things so you can move on, okay?”

I nodded. She didn’t look to be much older than me, so it was hard to imagine that she could’ve had four children.

“Good.” She squeezed my knee. “I know a guy and I could get you an appointment next week and drive you home after, if you’d like.”

My chin quivered, and I nodded again. I’d take care of it and then go to college and make something of myself. My parents and Grey would never have to know. I couldn’t bear anyone else’s disappointment.

Chapter Thirteen

Grey: 1989

Ishould’ve been focused on the men sitting across from me, but as usual, my thoughts were with her. Ever since the night I patched in, my life had been about control; about using my power to get what I wanted.

For the club.

For me.

I promised myself, after sending Donald to the Reaper, that I’d never let anyone have that kind of dominance over me again. And I’d been successful… until her.

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