Page 45 of Traitor

Jimmy grasped my hips and pushed me back toward his dick. “My turn?”

Okay. Moment of truth.

Would sleeping with him be the antidote to the poison that Mike had left in my veins?

There was only one way to find out.

He kept a hand on my waist while the other rifled around in his nightstand for a condom. He tore the package open with his teeth and flashed me a grin. “You ready, baby?”

I meant to nod and say something seductive. Instead, a strangled sob worked its way out and I vigorously began shaking my head no. My breaths were labored and I saw spots where there should’ve been…something.

Jimmy dropped the condom onto the comforter and pulled me into his chest. “Shhhh… I’ve got you.”

I struggled to break free from his grasp. “I can’t breathe. I can’t—breathe.”

He released me and I weakly slid from his body, my arms wrapped tightly around myself. I huffed and wheezed, but the air wasn’t going into my lungs. I didn’t know where it was going as I gasped like a fish out of water.

Jimmy grabbed onto my arms, placing my left hand against my chest and my right against my belly. “Breathe in through your nose, nice and slow. Feel your chest rise with your left hand and sink in with your right. That a girl. Just like that.”

Tears spilled down my cheeks, dripping onto my chest and his arms. I couldn’t speak, so I continued breathing just like he’d shown me until I felt in control again.

“You’re having a panic attack. Is this something you’ve experienced before?”

Before my mom died? No. Since then, it had become an almost weekly occurrence. When the grief hit me, it packed quite the punch. This was the first time Mike had caused one though.

I nodded weakly at Jimmy, wishing for the ability to teleport back to my bedroom at Torch’s house so that I wouldn’t have to have the awkward conversation that was undoubtedly about to happen.

He sat back on his heels, giving me space and a complete view of the hard-on he was still sporting. I was a friggin’ disaster.

I finally found my voice again. “I’m sorry, Jimmy. I don’t know what happened there.”

Maybe I could call a cab and we’d pretend the whole thing never happened. I could shift my workouts around and that’d be the end of it.

He reached out and tucked my hair behind my ear. “You haven’t been with anyone since—” His voice trailed off and he looked at me helplessly.

“Since?”

His eyes went dark and he looked away. “Since Mike.”

I struggled to corral my thoughts into something resembling a question. “You know Mike?”

Jimmy rubbed at his temple and squeezed his eyes shut before forcing out, “You said his name, Lauren. It’s obvious that you haven’t been with anyone since him. It’s why you brushed me off at first.”

I shook my head. “That’s not true. How would you even know that?”

I really looked at him this time and I saw what I’d missed before in his eyes. Pain. He swallowed hard. “I’ve been in your shoes before—”

“I hope not,” I deadpanned. “They’d never fit you.”

Jimmy’s face didn’t change at my joke and he continued, “I lost my fiancée a couple of years ago. The first time I tried to ‘get back in the saddle,’ I cried, and we ended up watching movies instead. So, come on.”

He tossed me a t-shirt that fell around my knees like a dress before he put on a pair of athletic shorts. I padded after him into the living room, still feeling out of sorts. Puck was asleep on the couch and, instead of jumping up, he eyed me skeptically and turned the other way.

Sorry, Puck.

Jimmy patted an empty spot on the couch and I settled in beside him. He channel surfed like a professional, never spending more than half a second on each channel.

“Here we go. This is a good one.Band of Brothers—have you seen it?” I looked away from him and back toward the screen.

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