Page 41 of Traitor

I was just going to get it over with. I’d work my frustration out on her body, all while proving that my dick wasn’t broken. My heart? Maybe. But, I could only fix one thing at a time.

I laid her back on the bed and stripped her pants off before staring at her in horror. I was so fucking sleep deprived that I could’ve sworn I was seeing the injuries from the night I saved her. I blinked until her body looked normal again, silently chastising myself for not grabbing a coffee before I left Denver.

I just needed to get her naked and beneath me. Nothing else mattered. Her t-shirt came off next, followed shortly after by her bra. I ran my tongue across her skin, resisting the urge to sink my teeth into her until she cried out. Rage flowed through my veins. I had the urge to hurt her. I wanted to inflict pain on her because she wasn’t Lauren.

What the fuck was wrong with me?

Her eyes fluttered shut and I pushed down my dark thoughts.

Focus, Mikey.

I saw the police report as clear as day in my mind. She’d been violently raped and beaten almost daily. I was a fucking monster to even think about laying a hand on her.

I poured all of my effort into licking and sucking my way down her body, trying to give her pleasure. “You like this? Is it okay?”

I slipped my hand under the band of her panties and she stiffened.

Jesus Christ.

I was forcing her to relive what he did.

She’d somehow seen my thoughts and knew that I was no better than Landon Scott. I yanked my hand back, as if her body had burned me. I inhaled, but it was as if I was breathing through a straw.

Katya looked up at me. “Why’d you stop?”

I laughed bitterly. “Really? You’re lying there as if I’m about to hurt—Jesus, Katya. Have you been with anyone since it happened?”

The realization gave me the urge to take a cold shower and scrub my skin until every disgusting thought I’d had was gone.

She tried to reach for me. “No, but you could fix that.”

I shook my head and moved away from her. “Absolutely not. We’re not doing this.”

“What? Why not?”

My dick was still painfully confined in my jeans, reminding me that I hadn’t had an erection since February. I moved back over to the bed and was about to make my move when I heard my father’s voice as clear as day.

She’s fine with it. Fuck, she’s practically begging for it. That pussy is aching for a real man to remind her of what she is. A toy.

I snapped. “I can’t. It wouldn’t be right.”

She pulled her clothes back on, while muttering, “Since when did you start caring about what’s right?”

When a gorgeous redhead asked me to dance on a beach.

When I saw her walk down that hallway in David and Elizabeth’s house and I thought for a brief second that maybe life did hand out fairy tales.

That was when I started caring about what was right. When I held her in my arms, I wanted to be on the right side of things, more than anything I’d ever wanted before in my life.

I shook my head and said, “Stop. Enough with the blaming. There’s another woman—”

Katya covered her face in mortification. “You’re married? Oh my g—”

I stopped her. “I’m not married. Just fucking listen, for once in your life. I was involved with someone when this shit went down. I lost her because of it. I have to live with those regrets for the rest of my life. So, quit sitting over there acting like you’re the only one with problems because of it.”

She lowered her hands and gave me a pointed look. “So, you’re not married? That doesn’t explain why we can’t—”

“Stop, Katya. You think I don’t want to? Jesus, your body is perfect. And honestly, most guys in my situation wouldn’t hesitate to fuck a supermodel, but I’m not the type of guy who’s gonna stick around for breakfast though.”

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