Page 82 of Cowboys Can't Kiss
Which is the understatement of the year. I thought once I finally opened up and let Jackson in, we’d have this slow, warm romance. Like sipping hot apple cider on a chilly fall day. That he’d do exactly what he said he would and romance me off my feet as we slowly and sweetly fell in love.
Instead, he blurted out his feelings in the most simple yet poignant way and had me spewing my emotions right back. None of it scripted like the events I plan or written on cue cards by nervous lovers. All of it in real time, straight from the heart.
It wasn’t perfect, but it’s perfectly Jackson and I wouldn’t change a thing.
Even if Aunt Agnes hadn’t fallen and Jackson didn’t charge into my condo in the wee morning hours, it would have happened in the easiest way. Because that’s who Jackson is. Easy like lazy mornings in bed or the snuggle of a puppy.
Gabe parks in the overflowing rodeo lot, somehow squeezing the giant SUV into a space with a satisfied grunt, and together we amble across the lot to the fairground entrance. Much like the rodeo I went to in Big Rock, this one is huge. The riot of noise carries from the midway, complete with the aroma of deep-fried foods. To the left is the entrance to the rodeo grounds, and gradually the scent of fried foods dissipates as we walk, only to be replaced by the smell of animal shit, leather, and something unique to rodeo that I can’t quite name. But I love it.
Earlier today, Jackson showed me where to find his parents and, as odd as it seems, this rodeo has a boxed seat section.The Sutherland family sponsors it every year just so they have guaranteed unobstructed seats to watch Jackson and his friends all weekend. Dean and Linda hold court like royalty in the special grandstand seats that have comfortable chairs with backs and not the bench seating of normal stands.
Every year, the Sutherlands donate rodeo tickets to the Boys and Girls Club so kids who can’t afford to come could experience a real rodeo in as much luxury as a small-town rodeo can give. It shouldn’t surprise me that Jackson’s parents are still involved in the community. Like Jackson, they’re kind people and love to help. When Linda notices me climbing the stairs with Gabe, she waves off the person checking for our entrance wristbands.
“This is my future son-in-law! He’s fine to allow in.” She rushes over to pull me into a hug. “I’m so happy you’re here! How’s your aunt today?”
Her son-in-law comment pulls a chuckle from Gabe, and I have to stomp on the butterflies rioting in my gut. “She’s so much better. Still on some pain meds, but she’s more herself today.”
“Wonderful to hear. She’s a lovely woman.” Dean chimes in and motions to a chair next to them. Gabe shakes their hands and takes a chair behind me, chatting to some teenagers sitting in the back hosted by the Sutherlands.
“Jackson is awfully excited you’re here,” Linda says as she squeezes my hand.
“I am too. He’s a natural.”
“He wasn’t always,” Dean chimes in from the other side of Linda.
“What do you mean?”
“When Jack was little, he was so fearful. We didn’t know why, and we just accepted that was his personality, but it was so hard to watch him miss out on things because of it.” Linda’s gaze is wistful as her eyes roam the rodeo ring for Jackson, who isn’t around yet. “He just had this odd fear of new things. Almost like he refused to believe he could succeed, so he never tried.”
“And he was just like that from the beginning?”
Dean nods, but with a smile. “He was a very sensitive boy. We just accepted it and tried to make him comfortable while gently introducing him to new things. It wasn’t until one of the neighbours’ horses got loose when Jack was maybe thirteen. He saw the horse and just went to it. Somehow, he got over whatever the fear was and threw a rope around its neck to walk it home safely. I remember him telling us what happened and how he almost grew right in front of us. He was so full of pride from helping that horse.” Dean glances at Linda, who nods in agreement. “He came out of his shell more after that and finally tried rodeo the following summer.”
My mind plays a movie of a cute young Jackson just growing into himself and helping a creature who couldn’t help itself. My heart nearly bursts thinking about how brave he had to be just to do that. Perhaps that’s what started him on the version of Jackson I know.
Now he throws himself onto running cattle and bakes cakes when I need him. He still blurts random facts when he’s nervous, but he has the confidence now that he clearly lacked early on. Is this where his reluctance to have someone on their knees for him comes from too? I wouldn’t doubt that it’s related. A fear of maybe upsetting someone he cares about.
And while I’m not about to ask his parents, the insight is powerful.
The rodeo announcer’s voice blasts over the speakers and our conversation comes to a halt as we all focus on the ring. A local musician sings the anthem and an older gentleman leads us through the cowboy’s prayer.
I’m barely paying attention to the events happening before Jackson’s turn arrives. My mind keeps wandering to life with Jackson in the future. Dogs, dates and cheering him on ringside until he decides it’s time to become a spectator. When the clown finishes his show, there’s movement in the chutes at the end of the ring, and I search for Jackson.
There’s no sneaking into the ring this time. A hometown boy, just like many others tonight, gets the spotlight and is introduced. Of course, Dean and Linda are mad proud, and hoot and holler as the announcer makes Jackson and Hunter wave.
Jackson waves and when his gaze finds mine, it’s like the rest of the world doesn’t exist. The cheers of the crowd vanish and the only thing in this world right now is me and the most amazing man on the back of his chestnut horse. A cowboy, a steer wrestler, and the man who deserves a thousand stars served to him because I’ve never known a better person.
Jackson’s lips tilt in a small smile as he glances away.
“You just made the cowboy blush, Rye,” Gabe whispers in my ear and I swat behind me to shut him up. “But who’s the guy next to him?”
Turning quickly, I gape at Gabe. “His best friend and hazer. That’s Hunter.”
“I’m just looking, Rye. Calm down.”
I know Gabe and he’s not just looking, but I’ll think about that more after.
This rodeo is much larger than the last one for the number of competitors and they’ve been divided into groups to wait behind the chutes. The competition is steep. Many of the cowboys have travelled farther than usual to get a shot at the very rich pot of prize money.
