Page 79 of Cowboys Can't Kiss

“You’reinlove with him?”

“Yeah, Jack. I am, and it’s too hard on my heart. I got into bull fighting to protect him, you know? He thought he couldn't be good without me and it kept us together. But seeing him with other men or women sometimes when we’re away? It’s too much. I can’t keep doing it.”

I don’t know how to process what Griff just told me. I know he and Jamieson are best friends, practically attached at the hip since the day I’ve met them, but I’d never have guessed Griff was in this deep. Or this affected.

“Have you ever…”

He shakes his head. “No. I’ve never brought it up, because… shit, I’m a coward, maybe?” He kicks at the dusty ground with the toe of his worn sneaker. “We had an almost threesome once, and that was too much for me. I excused myself as best as I could while naked with a hard on and left them. I didn’t talk to him for two days after that. Made up some kind of story about not enough condoms and split.”

I’ve known Griff and Jamieson for five years. We’ve all spent so much time together on the circuit, but not once did I ever think feelings were involved.

“Can I do anything?”

“Unless you have any tricks for me to separate Jamieson from work, I don’t think so. I just wanted you to know, so you’re not surprised when I quit.”

“You’re really serious about quitting? You’re so good at what you do, Griff, and you enjoy it. Maybe if you talked to him, he might understand. Jamieson would never want to hurt you.”

Griff stares into the field for a while and Jamieson yells from the house to get our asses down there or he’s eating our share, too. Griff chuckles with a sad shake of his head.

“Yeah. I think I’m serious. Unless I figure something else out, I need to create some separation so I can move on with my life. I can’t keep pining after him forever. It’s…I feel like I’m drowning, and I just can’t do it anymore.” His last words trail to a whisper, and he blinks fast. “I don’t want to hurt him either, but I think this time I need to put myself first.”

I squeeze his shoulder before we push away from the fence.

“I’ll miss you around, but I understand whatever you decide.” We walk back towards the farmhouse, and I can’t imagine Jamieson taking the news well. He depends so much on Griff, and they mesh together even better than Hunter and me.

My phone chimes and when I glance down to see Riley’s name, the smile on my face is automatic.

“That right there.” Griff smiles and gestures to my face. “That’s what I want. I’ll see you inside.” Griff hustles up the porch steps and I hope he finds what he needs without hurting too much to get there.

“Your parents are incredible, Jackson.”

Riley bumps me with his shoulder as we clean up the kitchen. My mom made a full roast beef dinner with all the fixings andRiley was in heaven. Mom asked him a million questions about weddings but managed to not ask about what we would do for ours. Not that we’re anywhere close to that yet, but I know my mother. She’s dying for it to happen.

My dad just smiled a lot. He’s a smiley guy, but tonight he was extra happy, and it wasn’t the pre-dinner drinks that did it.

“They love you, Rye. I told you they would.”

Riley stares off with a smile on his face as he dries a pot. “I bet you had great family holiday dinners.”

“We did. Lots of food and lots of laughs.”

“Do you think your mom wanted to ask about our wedding? She was getting a little specific with her questions.”

I snort a laugh as I pull the plug on the sink and turn towards Riley. “She was definitely fighting to keep from asking. She’s always wanted me to get married. I think you being into romance and weddings has her extra excited.”

Riley sets the pot down and turns to me.

“Do you ever want to be married?”

Nodding slowly, I step over to him and pull him into my arms. “Yes, I do. I want to be married and get a dog. I want to dance with you in the kitchen at midnight to music that only we can hear in our hearts.” Riley loops his arms around my neck, and we sway like drunk teenagers at a high school dance.

“What about kids?”

“They don’t need to be my own, but I’d be open to foster kids if needed. I’m not sure if I can handle babies, but older kids maybe. What about you?”

“I’ve always wanted a family that I didn’t have. Marriage definitely, but I never thought about being a father. I like your idea,though. I work too much, and I’d like to give back somehow. You inspire me.”

“I do?”

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