Page 53 of Cowboys Can't Kiss

Jackson pokes at his float and watches the ice cream fizz in the root beer.

“I wanted to. He was a nice guy. Checked a lot of my boxes.”

“But?”

“I told him the guy I liked friend-zoned me and I wasn’t ready to give up on him yet.”

I don’t know whether I should throw up or climb into his lap. His gaze meets mine. Naked and honest. Hopeful.

“I came here for a few reasons. I had a heart-to-heart talk with Gabe about you.”

Our waitress delivers the mountain of steaming fries and both Jackson and I laugh at how big the heap of potato product is.

“You can’t say you don’t get your money’s worth at this place, can you? I think this plate of fries has three pounds of potatoes.” Jackson raises the ketchup bottle. “Do you dunk?”

“Is there any other way?”

“Only if you’re a chaos creator and like ketchup everywhere.”

We quietly eat a few fries before Jackson breaks the silence again.

“So, what did Gabe tell you?”

“Something I both didn’t want to hear and something I needed to hear.” Jackson dips a fry in the remainder of the ice cream in his floats and eats it. “Eww, what did you just do?”

“I’ve always seen people do that at the fast-food places. Figured I should try it.”

“And?”

“If I wanted potato-flavoured ice cream, I’d order it.”

A laugh bursts from the bottom of my toes at Jackson’s dry delivery. But he’s not laughing. There’s a small smile on his lips, but his serious face pulls me back to why we’re here.

“I kept you at a distance because I was scared you’d be another Chase. By doing that, I was letting him win. Gabe kindly made me see I was making myself miserable out of a misplaced…dislike.”

“The whole ‘I don’t date cowboys’ thing?”

“Yeah. It made sense at one time, but the longer I thought about it, the more I realized I needed to change my thinking.”

“And you came here to tell me in person?”

It’s so much more than that. I wanted to see him in his element. Jackson, in the job that puffs his chest with confidence and makes him who he is.

“I watched you tonight.”

Jackson pauses with a fry at his mouth. “Did you like it? Not just me, but the rodeo?”

“I really did.” Jackson’s shoulders relax and I move a fry through the ketchup. “When I was small, my parents took me to the Kissing Ridge rodeo a few times. Before I came out to them.” Listening to my dad go on and on about what real men do eroded my heart in ways that took me years to realize. But I always enjoyed watching the men do their thing. It’s an artful sport when you understandthe history of it. “When I met Chase, as horrible as he was, he encouraged me to attend rodeos to watch him. He wasn’t that good, but being there and remembering rodeo is a part of where I come from sparked some good, you know? When he revealed his true colours, I slapped it all up and packed it away again because that was easier.”

Until now, I didn’t realize I’d always taken the easy way in my relationships. If it was too hard, I fabricated excuses, and the time to stop that is now.

“I’m sorry I pushed you away without giving you a chance, Jackson.”

“I understand mostly, Rye. It just hurt at first and spending so much time with you…” He sighs before slumping back in his seat. “It just proved to me my gut was right.”

“About?”

“You.”

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