Page 45 of Cowboys Can't Kiss

Riley hasn’t come out yet and I don’t just want to leave, but I also don’t want to wander through his place uninvited. But my concern for Riley wins, and I walk softly down the hall where he disappeared until I find him in his bedroom. Asleep.

“Oh, baby,” I whisper as I pad into the room. Riley is curled on his side, hands tucked under his head, much like the night he told me all about Chase. A soft blanket sits draped over a chair in the room. I grab it and gently cover him with it while watching his chest rise and fall with deep, steady breaths.

How much stress has this caused him to crash this hard? How hard has he been working at this all alone with no help? Not knowing what else to do, I quietly leave the room.

Once back in his kitchen, I grab a pen and tear a piece of paper towel from the roll to leave him a note. After placing it by the cake, I let myself out of his apartment, careful to lock the door behind me.

The weights clang and bang as I settle them back into the holder.

“Really, Jackson? You’re going to cross a friend line when he clearly said he wanted to be friends?”

Hunter and I walk over to the treadmills for our cooldown after an intense weight training session where I relayed in bits and pieces what happened yesterday with Riley.

“I think I need to, Hunter. You didn’t see the look on his face. He looked so lost and alone as he just…he just clutched at me like I was the only good thing in his life. He asked me to bake a cake, gave me his code for the elevator up to his place and then hugged me like it would make everything better.”

“Yeah, but I gave you a key to the ranch gate too, and I don’t want your tongue down my throat.”

I punch him in the shoulder with a scowl. “That’s different and you know it. He’s asked me directly for help, but he’s also asked me indirectly and if I didn’t know any better, I’d think he’s hoping I make the first move.”

“I thought you said this Chase guy totally fucked him up? You really think he wants someone to make a move? Sounds an awful lot like someone afraid to trust.”

Hunter punches buttons on his machine as I narrow my eyes.

“Sounds like some personal experiences you might want to share?”

“Nope. This is about you, Jack. But think about it. Chase was a cowboy, sort of, and so are you. He had a meltdown at some court thing and came back home to find you. The guy has to be all kinds of mixed up and not knowing what he should do about anything.”

My treadmill kicks in and I fall into the brisk walk while I turn his words over in my head. Maybe he’s right and I shouldn’t do anything, but Riley knows I’m interested. I told him the first day we met in his office that I wanted to ask him out.

Maybe I just have to accept that Riley isn’t interested in more and just wants to be friends. I’d hate for him to think I was another asshole, like Chase.

“Okay, so if I don’t try to move things along, should I still be friends?”

“Are you happy as friends?”

“Yeah, we have a lot in common. I enjoy talking to him and spending time with him. He’s funny.”

Hunter shrugs. “Then stay friends Jack.”

It’s not that easy, though. Is it?

“Yeah, maybe you’re right. I don’t want to ruin a good thing. We do have fun together. Maybe I’ll finally join you guys after the Big Rock event and see if I can find someone to move on with.”

Even as the words leave my mouth, I cringe. I don’t want to move on.

Hunter laughs. “You can easily find someone to get under you, Jackson. Trust me.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

My words lack any desire for that, though.

Hunter pops his earbuds in, effectively ending the conversation, but I choose to go without and run with my thoughts instead.

I want Riley, but I can’t figure him out. My gut says he’s just hurt and if that’s the case, maybe he needs more time to let us become more. He’s followed my rodeo for the last six weeks. He knows my stats, and he’s kept track of things. That’s not a sign of someone who hates cowboys.

Surely, I can’t just be imagining there’s more to us.

But Hunter has a point. If Riley has been hurt and is distrustful, he wouldn’t want me barging in and insisting we become more.

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