Page 76 of Cowboys Can't Kiss

Jackson remains quiet for a beat. “You’re not the only one at fault for that, Rye. I’m an adult and could’ve spoken up, too. But that’s not why I’ve never done this before.”

“Because you feel like it’s some sort of power imbalance?”

Jackson touches his forehead to mine.

“I guess I’ve always thought if someone could do what we just did, it would be cheap and dirty and not be meaningful. I never want the person I’m with to feel like I’m only with them for sex.” He rushes on. “And that’s not a comment about your previous job.”

Before I respond to Jackson, I need a moment to wrap my head around his words. It makes so much sense now. His caretaking and romantic tendencies, while they absolutely come from his heart, they’ve also skewed the way he views intimacy. Maybe all the Disney movies were a bad thing because Jackson could make me gag with his cock, and I’d still feel loved and cherished.

“Can we continue talking about this after I rinse the cum off myself? I want to talk about this more.” He nods and stands, holding out his hand to pull me up to him. “But for the record, Jackson, I’ve never once felt like you were with me just for sex.”

“Good. Because I never was. I’m here because I love you.”

twenty-two

Jackson

Shit.

I was not supposed to say that right away. Not like this. But Riley stands and stares at me, still holding a handful of cum and some of it smeared on his face. Since I can’t take the words back, I just change the subject.

Expertly.

“Did you know ostriches are one of the few breeds of birds to have a penis?”

Fuck. I shouldn’t talk about sex. That’s not really deflecting from what I just confessed.

“My mom used to worry I didn’t eat enough protein. That’s why I love hummus so much. It has just as much protein as steak, really.” Grabbing a tissue box from Riley’s dresser, I pull a few out and wipe the gob out of his hand before pulling him into the bathroom. This is the most disappointing romantic confession ever. And yet I can’t stop talking.

“Hunter loves steak, though. Sometimes I worry about his red meat intake, you know? Like, he’s a typical rancher. Beef all day long, that guy.”

“Jackson.”

Pausing outside the shower, I finally turn to face Riley. Tears threaten to spill from his eyes, and I drop my head.

“I’m sorry, Riley. I didn’t mean to blurt that out.”

This is the most epic failure of professing love ever. He must be so disappointed.

“Did you mean it, though?”

My head snaps up with the urgency in his voice and my heart flutters. “Of course I did. There’s nothing I say that I don’t mean, but I didn’t mean to just say it like that. I wanted to give you the romance that’d you remember. Maybe plan some special date where I can tell you under the stars before I kiss every inch of your body. I wanted it to be a romantic moment like you plan for everyone else, but never yourself.”

Riley steps closer until our chests almost touch and a wave of emotion crashes over me that’s so thick I feel like I’m buried under a wet blanket.

“Tell me what else we’d do on this date,” Riley whispers, his lips hovering over mine.

“I’d make sure you didn’t have to work the next day. We’d drive up to this meadow in the mountains. Even farther up than Hunter’s pastures.”

“That sounds pretty.”

“It is. I’d light a fire if it was too cold, and I’d put the better cushions in my truck bed so we could fall asleep if we needed. If we didn’t see the Northern Lights, I’d show you the stars.”

Riley’s fingers dust over my abs, and he kisses my shoulder.

“What would you show me in the stars?”

Riley’s hands drift to my hips, his thumbs rubbing along the bone there, and I pull back to watch as a single tear slides down his face.

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