Page 56 of Cowboys Can't Kiss

‘Bella Notte.’

Beautiful night indeed.

sixteen

Jackson

Riley opens the door to his hotel room and after we’re both inside, the reality of tonight slams into me like the ground when I miss a steer.

He wants this.

It feels like forever since the day I first met him in the park, to the day I finally asked him out and he said he doesn’t date cowboys.

“Hey.” His soft voice brings me back to the present. “If this makes you uncomfortable, Jackson, don’t stay.”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just…did you know rodents can’t vomit? I kind of wish I was a rodent right now.”

Oh, for god’s sake.

“Do you not feel well? What can I do?”

Riley’s face is a mask of concern as he takes my hand in his.

“I’m fine. I’m just…” With a swallow, I kiss the back of Riley’s hand. “I’m overwhelmed in all the best ways to be here with you, but I also sort of feel sick. Not about you! I like you. Probably more than a honeybee likes pollen to be fair. But what if, I mean, what if you’re with me and you change your mind? What if I don’t meet your expectations?”

As much as I’ve wished for this day, I know he has more experience than me. I’m no blushing virgin by any means but… “Nodisrespect, Rye, but you have far more experience than me here.”

“Is this about the escort thing?”

I nod, and when his smile falls, I wish it wasn’t because of me.

“That was just sex, Jackson. It’s not like this. Those men didn’t get all of me. With you…I want more than that. I want what nobody has ever given me from you.”

“What’s that?”

“Romance. Love. Friendship. Hope for a future. Someone to share my deepest fears with.”

“Riley…”

Reaching for him, I cup his face in my hands and kiss him, soft and slow, as I walk us backwards towards the bed. When his legs hit the edge of the bed, I pull away from his lips. “You’re safe with me. I promise.”

“And you with me, Jackson. Don’t let what I did in the past affect how you feel when we’re together. Please.”

I can’t possibly feel anything other than a desire to please him in every way I can. To prove to him I’m the one and it’s forever.

“I’ve always wanted you. But you know I don’t like casual. I was just, I guess I’m worried I might not be good enough.”

Knowing Riley was an escort never bothered me. Like he said, it’s just sex. But he’s had far more sex than I have because once I cross the line and sleep with someone, my feelings always get involved. It’s why I can’t do casual relationships. It’s too hard for me to separate the two. If we get naked, my heart gets involved no matter how hard I try to keep it out of it.

We’ve never talked about it because I wasn’t about to bring it up if I never had a shot with him. Is this the best time to mention it?Probably not, but I can’t get physically naked with him until I’m naked with my intentions.

“You’re already the best man I’ve ever allowed this close to me. Believe me, I’m just as worried as you that I won’t measure up.”

“What? Why?”

“Because you’re so kind and pure, Jackson. You’re real and I fucking love that about you. You’ve been nothing but honest with me right from the day we met.”

Fuck, he’s my person. I know it. Sliding my hands under his shirt, his warm skin under my fingers pulls a sigh from my lips. “I want to feel you against me. Every inch of you pressed against me.” Dropping my mouth to his neck, I graze the skin with my teeth. Riley’s moans tear the rest of my resolve away.

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