Page 47 of Cowboys Can't Kiss

Riley

The Big Rock fairgrounds are alive this evening with the laughter and screams from midway rides. The mouth-watering aroma of freshly spun cotton candy and deep fried dough teases me, but for now, I have to ignore it.

My guts are a mess without it.

After my butterfly release ceremony went off without a hitch at the wedding, I rushed back home to pack a bag, then hit the road to drive three hours to Big Rock for the invite-only rodeo Jackson is competing at tonight.

Since he picked me up in the middle of the night to watch the meteor shower, my thoughts have been in a state of constant chaos. It was such an intimate outing, but he kept himself contained and made it more about an attempt to lift my spirits after what happened at the courthouse. When Jackson called to invite me, he said astronomy was something that soothed him. He wanted me to find peace with what happened, and I felt like he wanted to say more and didn’t.

I didn’t trust myself to say anything either. Instead, I thanked him for the experience and tucked it away as one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done for me. Jackson was knocking down all my walls with barely any effort. We both hadour lives to handle and whatever this was between us had to wait until I could wrap my mind around what exactly I was doing and what I wanted.

I wanted Jackson. I always have, but I needed to process and get over the cowboy thing. Jackson won't do me dirty like Chase. I knew it like I knew the sun set in the west and to never trust gas station sushi.

Which is why I came to the rodeo.

After driving as fast as I safely could, I still had time to spare before the rodeo started. I paid the admission, then I had a chat with a volunteer about the rodeo schedule and learned Jackson’s event happens in the first half near the end.

Scanning the stands, I found a seat midway up the bleachers and sat next to a group of older men and in front of a large crowd of women. Nodding hello, I turn my focus on the event ring. Various riders on horseback ride in circles. Some have a lasso they swing but don’t release and others have their horses respond to commands. No sign of Jackson, though.

I didn’t tell him I was coming because it was spontaneous. When I woke up after the disaster of a court visit to find the note he left me near the cake, I opened a bottle of wine and gave myself a long, hard talking to.

Then I called Gabe and told him what happened. Since he had vouched for the other guy and assured me that the lawyer would just need a statement, I felt he deserved to know how wrong he was about the man. Gabe was plenty pissed to hear about it, and after apologizing profusely, he talked me off my wine-induced cliff to say something I needed to hear.

Again.

Was I willing to let a good man walk away because of a singular trait he shared with Chase? By doing so, I was allowing Chase to win, and that didn’t sit well with me.

So not only did I swear off cowboys and paint them all with one brush because it was easy to do… I moved back to a town where half the male population was some kind of cowboy. I’d doomed myself to unhappiness.

And I was possibly shoving away one of the sweetest men I’d ever met simply because he wore a cowboy hat and made a living with rodeo.

After wallowing in the wine, I chose not to be a loser. First, I wrote a letter to Jackson. Then I threw it out. Then I composed a long text only to delete it. In the end, I felt an in-person delivery would be the best. When he invited me to the meteor shower thing, I almost said what was on my mind, but I held back and blamed it on not being fully awake.

Now I’m here and hoping like heck to catch Jackson after his event and celebrate with him. To throw away this notion that all cowboys are the same and to give us a chance at something real. Something more than friends.

Music blasts through the speakers and a voice booms over the audio system, announcing the start of tonight’s event. The crowd cheers and claps and after a short rundown of what will happen, along with the cowboy prayer, I settle in to watch.

Saddle bronc is up first, followed by bare back bronc. Both look extremely painful. Next comes tie down roping, which actually has me on the edge of my seat. Who knew watching a man tie a calf’s feet together could be so enthralling?

After a quick drag of the ring and some crowd interactions, the barrel racers come out. Each one seems faster than the last, and I laugh and cheer them on with the crowd. Most importantly, though, I’m enjoying myself immensely.

I’ve not had this much fun at a rodeo since I was a kid. I’ve missed it. Maybe it’s the laughter floating over from the midway or maybe it’s the smiles on all the faces in the stands as they cheer on their favourite cowboys. Whatever it is, I’m loving it.

When the announcer states that it’s time for the steer wrestlers, my heart rate speeds up listening to the announcer describe the event. My eyes scan the area and when I finally find Jackson on his horse, my belly hits the ground. Smiling and confident and incredibly sexy on top of his chestnut-brown horse, he’s the poster child for what all cowboys should look like. He chats with a serious guy next to him and I wonder if that’s his partner. His hazer, I learned when I googled Jackson the first time.

The first two wrestlers are out quickly, with the second one being so fast and smooth that my jaw drops. They just fall off their horses and thump this animal to its side effortlessly. I know it takes skill and loads of technique and effort, but all these men make it look like anyone can just step up and do it. I’m hooked.

Jackson and his partner move towards the chutes and the announcer’s voice has drifted away as I focus entirely on Jackson. His horse prances for a moment and then everything settles for the barest of moments. Jackson nods and his “yep!” carries across the ring. The steer bursts out with Jackson and his partner right after it.

I hold my breath as Jackson leans over, only just leaving the gate, and slides off his horse onto the steer. He scoops one arm underthe steer’s horn and grabs the other horn before he slaps the beast to the ground. It all seems to happen in the blink of an eye.

The crowd is in a frenzy as the steer hops up and trots away. Jackson’s bright smile and wave to the crowd as he dusts himself off take my breath away.

There’s no hiding how much fun he has out there and how much he loves this. The time displayed is one-tenth higher than his usual, but it’ll be enough to land him in the money, which is what he came here for.

He mounts his horse again and exits to the back of the ring and I sit there, stunned. When Jackson told me rodeo made him feel more confident and it was where he felt like he most belonged, I didn’t really understand until now. Jackson was made for this.

I bet if an attractive man approached him while he was in the ring, he’d have no problem asking for a date. His quirky facts wouldn’t spew forth over his nervousness. This is his domain, his living room.

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