Page 72 of Beauty and the Beard

“Of the male kind.”

“Oh! So spill! What happened? How did you even meet someone? I thought this was a secluded retreat kind of place?”

“Well… he owns the place. And… yeah.”

There’s a commotion in the background, and Zane covers the phone. His muffled voice barks out and he returns to the line. This time with complete silence.

“Sorry. The guys just started arguing over whose turn it was to go look for Matts. Since we all know it’s highly likely he and Jacob are half naked somewhere, it turned into an argument.”

I remember Zane telling me his friend has a thing for lavender. Whenever it’s blooming in the gardens, it’s like a bizarre aphrodisiac. There’ve been several awkward situations. Zane now carries a bell with him.

“Why do you have to look for him, then? Just wait for him to come back.”

“That would be ideal, but we need to tell him today’s tour with the quilting guild was moved ahead. There’s some real panic happening right now. But it’s not my turn to be on the search, thank god. So, tell me about this complicated man that has my friend calling me.”

“He’s not complicated at all. He’s sweet, Zane. It’s like he’s so kind it’s almost hard to believe he’s real.”

“So what’s the problem, Sash? You called for a reason.”

Chuckling softly, I shake my head. Zane has always been straight to the point since we became friends. I know he’ll be blunt and I know he’ll also care. Not that Roman doesn’t care,but he’s closer to me than anyone. Zane tends our friendship like the violets of his husband’s, with care and a delicate touch. He weeds gently.

“So, I like him. A lot. Like I could see myself living in the woods with him kind of a lot.” Sucking in a breath, I barrel on. “And the court stuff with Moe will be over this week. I have the college course and business plan almost ironed out.”

“So what is it that’s holding you back? I hope you’re not still stuck on believing you don’t deserve happiness. You have an entire friend group that love you. We know you’re not just a man who loves to dress in glitter and pink sequins. That you’re amazing, just as you are. And fierce as fuck, Sasha. Don’t forget how you handled yourself after being thrown from a mechanical bull. Or riding a horse that ran faster than any of us expected your second time out. I admire your spirit and courage. You’re an incredible person. Sounds like this mountain man knows that, too.”

“That’s why I called you, Zane. Roman is good to me and he’s known me longer than anyone. You and me are still new to each other and you always make me feel like I’m your closest friend.”

“That’s because you are a close friend. All my friends are the best ones because I only surround myself with people who are good. The people I know I can call if I need bail money or to hide a body. You’re one of those people for me, Sasha. And me for you. Do you want me to be really honest?”

“As long as it doesn’t make me cry, yes.”

“Sasha, do not let one hideous member of the human race define who you are. You made one mistake, and it was only because you were young and didn’t know. You were lost and trusted him because your mother did. That’s understandable. You’re not stupid and you’re sure as hell not worthless. And if this man you met at the lodge is still on your mind and youconnected… go to him. Hold on as tight as you did when we taught you how to hold on while the horse ran.”

I bark a laugh as I remember how terrified I was that I’d fall off and break more bones. But it was the most incredible experience. My heart soared, and I laughed with pure terror, but also with delight. I felt free and invincible. Maybe that’s how I can feel with Leaf.

“You’re a wise man, Zane.”

He snorts a laugh. “Alec will strongly disagree with you. But thank you. Did I help?”

“You did. You really did. I think I know what I’m going to do.”

“Make sure you keep me posted. Am I still helping you move next month?”

“Yes! I’ll keep you posted and I do still need a hand. I’d like to see you again, too.”

“I’ll be there, Sasha. Good luck and let me know how it goes. He’s a lucky man.”

“Thanks, Z. I’ll let you get back to work. I hope you don’t see something you shouldn’t.”

He groans with a chuckle.

“Me too, friend. We’ll chat soon.”

After ending the call, I stare at Leaf’s contact in my phone. He’s been quiet since our first conversation and his bumbled attempts at texting. I know he’s likely swamped with things at the lodge.

Why would he be putting me first when work demands his time? I understand how it goes. But Zane is right. If I shy away from whatever this is with Leaf… then Moe still wins.

Before I can chicken out, I send him a single text.

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