Page 54 of Beauty and the Beard

I should call Roman first. When he doesn’t pick up, I finally click the email icon and watch all the messages load. There’s so many. Some with those annoying little red exclamation marks to signal it’s more important than the others. Savouring the forkful of pie, I wonder who thought those little red marks were a good idea.

Ignoring all of them for now, I sign into my student account at the college. I’m enrolled in a photography program that I’m due to begin in September. Being in front of the camera is what I’m known for, but being behind it is a passion that’s grownover the years. After reviewing all the course requirements and deadlines, I’m no closer to deciding what I’ll do when I leave Maple Mountain Lodge.

Well, I have a plan, but now it’s complicated, with an incredibly kind and handsome lumberjack who probably doesn’t need my kind of mess in his life.

Flipping back to my email, I scroll until I find the ones from my lawyer. It’s been great not being tied to the laptop and all the bullshit I’m still dealing with concerning Moe. My hand shakes as I lift the coffee cup and I wish Roman would pick up the phone.

As if he knows I need him, my phone rings and in my haste, I slosh coffee on the table reaching for it.

“Ro?”

“Sorry. I was in the middle of a shoot. Are you okay?”

“Okay.” I huff a breath while trying to hang on to the thread of sanity I have left. “I’m still here and wondering how much longer this will drag out. I… I want to get on with my life, but I don’t want to drag anyone into this shit.”

“Oh, Sash. What happened?”

“The damn lumberjack, is what happened. I think he has feelings for me.”

Roman snorts and I scowl.

“Darn. I hate it when attractive men want to have more with me. It’s such a hardship.”

“Don’t be an asshole, Ro. I can’t do this, can I?”

“Do what exactly?”

“Have a normal life. Maybe fall in love. Get a dog or some shit like that.”

Never have I allowed myself to dream that I could have it all. The family and white picket fence. Maybe 2.5 kids and soccer practice. I’ve never had that kind of normality. Leaf is like anoasis come to life. All of that could be mine if I could just shake the notion that I don’t deserve it.

“You can do it all, Sasha. Don’t let that asshole take it all away from you. It’s almost over. My lawyer said it will be over quicker if we both show up, give our statements, and no more lawsuits. He’s done.”

“I’ll be back in a few days. The last email didn’t give a date.”

“He said to let him know once you’re back and he’ll set it up.”

My hand slides into my hair, and I tug at the strands. “It’s a guarantee, right? This is the end of it?”

“Yeah. And then you’re gonna ride off into the sunset with your lumberjack. Does he have a brother?”

“He does, but you won’t like him.”

“Solomon Montpellier! Bite your tongue! You know I like them big and strong.”

My lips twitch in a small smile.

“You’re incorrigible. And I need you to be serious.”

“For you I will be. Fire away.”

“If Leaf has feelings and I don’t have this all wrong… how do I, like… I don’t know how to love someone back, Ro. I’m terrified of hurting him. He already lost a husband. What if I get it all wrong?”

“There’s literally no right or wrong way, Sasha. And if you’re asking how to do it, my guess is you’re wondering how you can make it work already. It’s scary. I’ve never been in love either, except that one time I found that gorgeous red Italian silk. That was real love. But if he’s making you feel things new and scary, I think you owe it to yourself to try.”

“Isn’t there a textbook I could read or something?”

He laughs with a small sigh. I’m kidding, but only partly. Isn’t there a book on this kind of thing?

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