Page 70 of Beauty and the Beard

What? That’s new information.

“I thought he was going to the white collar prison? It was only my word against his and I had no real proof.”

Roman pauses and takes my hand.

“You didn’t have proof, but someone else did.”

The gravity of what he shares doesn’t sit well. I know all of Moe’s clients.

“Which one?” I whisper.

Roman sighs a shaky breath. “Lars. He met me at a shoot just after you left. He heard about the theft charges and asked me if there were other allegations or victims. He had a text exchange saved on his phone with Moe.” Roman squeezes my hand again and looks away. He’s sensitive, my friend. I’m the only one who sees this part of him. He swallows hard. “Lars agreed to share with my lawyer—our lawyer—and he brought it to the judge. It’s the final nail for him, Sasha.”

Lars was just a kid. Younger than I was when I started in this business. The thought of him tarnishing other young boys we might not know about sickens me so much that I push away my sandwich.

“Hey,” Roman reaches over and squeezes my hand again. “Lars is okay. He wanted you to know that. He’s been seeing a great therapist, and he only had a short contract with Moe. He said your courage to come forward first was why he did.”

“He still had to be a victim. I was too stupid to recognize his manipulation. It all could have stopped with me.”

Which is more of a hang up than what Moe actually did to me. To know others have suffered because I was a coward will hang over my head forever.

“Don’t say that. Focus on the fact he’s done now. You just need to give your final victim impact statement. It’s closed door. No reporters or anything. Once it’s done, you can move on with your life. Maybe with this Leaf guy you’re into. Did you tell him?”

The mention of Leaf here in my real life away from the lodge seems misplaced. I imagine his bulky frame in my tiny apartment and a smile appears, regardless of the topic.

“He knows about Moe. I kind of spilled my guts to him one night.”

“What did he do?”

“He hugged me and apologized that I didn’t have anyone on my side to look out for me.” Looking away at my laptop bag, I swallow. “I talked to him last night.”

Roman pauses, his cup in the air on the way to his mouth. He sips before speaking.

“I know that tone. What did you do?”

Roman continues to eat his slop of a breakfast and it’s always surprised me how easily this stuff can roll off him. Even when Roman learned Moe had stolen from his accounts too, while his agent, he simply took in stride.

He vowed to bury him where nowhere would ever find him, but still took it in stride. And now his ice-blue eyes bore into me as he waits.

“Nothing really, Ro. We had an amazing evening together and he…” I falter, remembering how Leaf let me do what I wanted to his body. Not because of the pleasure it gave him. That’s just not who Leaf is. But for the pleasure it gave me. He held me as a priority and laid himself out for me, which was a huge gesture.Mammoth, really. It wasn’t just sex, and it’s been a struggle for my brain to accept that.

Until Leaf, I’d never actively participated in sex. I was always told what to do. On my knees, or facedown on the bed. It was devoid of feeling. Sometimes I didn’t even feel human. And it was always one sided. As a model, I often played up my sexuality, but it was all just part of my facade. There was never a confidence in the bedroom for me.

Until Leaf gave me the courage to ask for what I wanted.

“Sasha?”

Roman snaps his fingers in front me with a knowing smile.

“Reliving an epic night?”

“More like an epic fairytale. He told me he loved me.”

Roman’s eyes bug out of his head.

“Whoa. That’s a big deal. What did you say?”

I should have said something, but I simply couldn’t.

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