Page 7 of My Saintly Demon

My stomach growls and reminds me I still need to eat before getting the packing started. Time to raid the leftovers from that funeral and then get the fuck out of here.

CHAPTERFOUR

DAVE

The door of my father’s realm vanishes behind me and I’m left in a cramped closet in a church basement. Of course, I’m stuck in achurchfor the next seven days. I mean, what was I expecting? A week’s stay at the Ritz-Carlton?

The closet is stuffy and small, with a box of older hymnal books shoved in the corner and a broken picture frame still with the painting of Jesus and his disciples in it. You just knew that would end badly when they needed a table for thirteen.

There’s no noise outside the closet door and since it’s early, and mid week, I’m likely here all alone. If anyone shows up, it would be a caretaker or maybe even the priest himself. If that happens, I’m sure I can handle either of them just fine.

Unfolding a chair I find wedged in the corner behind the broken painting, I gingerly sit and remove the demon handbook to review while I figure out my next steps. Flipping through the pages, I go back to basics and review the teachings I’ve known since I was a child.

Don’t touch holy water.

Stay away from any kind of blessing.

Avoid Taco Bell.

You know, obvious stuff.

For several hours I browse the handbook and nothing jumps out as being completely out of the question for what I may or may not do. I can actually leave the church, so that’s good to know. Again, there are rules to follow while in public, but I don’t need to sit in the closet for a week. Which is indeed a good thing. I’m a big guy. Six foot five without the horns. Camped out in a closet for seven days would be, well, hell.

I’m about to skip to another section about the intricacies of human behaviour and how it relates to demons when the vision of a man pleasuring himself zings into my head. It’s so crisp and clear I may as well be in the same room as him and watching a live show.

His green eyes bore into mine and he’s breath-takingly handsome with curly blond hair framing his face in a golden halo. He’s downright delicious in his sexual pose and this is one time I’m grateful to be tagged in someone’s very vivid and sexual fantasies. Because he sees me too. He’s so close I can taste the sweat on his brow as I lick my lips.

Is this the priest of this church? As I watch him chase his orgasm, I know when he senses me there as more than just his imagination, and that moment... well, it’s… weird. In a good way, though, because he thought of me when he stuck his finger in his ass and came all over himself. I’ve never peeked in on someone like that before and stayed that long. It’s always been brief flashes and then gone. But this was different.

I liked it.

I liked him.

He was definitely not someone to throw out of bed for eating crackers. Okay, not quite. I wouldn’t be able to sleep in a bed full of crumbs, but I’d dustbuster around him and ask him to stay.

If he’s the priest, he’s probably the last person I should ask for help, but fuck, he’s hot. The whole thing was hot. He was thinking of me. But I can’t allow a pretty face to sidetrack me. I need to plan how to get through this week and return home. And I won’t make part of the plan to include sex.

Nope.

Although, defiling a priest would probably be good, er, bad? Might earn me points with Dad. If I can work it in and not hurt the guy, I’ll think about it.

With a sigh, I return to my manual and read the boring part I’ve always skipped. It’s hard to understand human behaviour. There’s so many complicated emotions. The longer I read, though, the more I think that maybe it’s not so hard after all. It’s actually relatable. This whole concept about me being too nice for a demon makes more sense now. There are a lot of pages about how humans try to bargain and appeal to your sense of empathy. Along with a note that it’s easy for demons to ignore because we just don’t have that capability.

But that’s wrong.

The more I read about the various actions humans will do to spare their lives, the more I feel like I’m truly the horrible demon my father says I am. Because they all sound like me.

This will be harder than I thought. How can I be a proper demon when I relate to humans so much? I’m not perfect and neither are they. But I can understand the why of their actions. I just don’t understand why I have to be the one so different.

Exhausted from all the information and the possibility I just wasn’t born to be evil, I let my head rest against the wall and get some sleep before I start this week of what I’m sure will be a new kind of hell for me.

* * *

My eyes fly open,and I bolt upright on the flimsy folding chair with a gasp.

That man was in my dream. Ineverdream.

I’ve not even been here long enough to leave the damn church, and I’m already having weird things happen to me. This can’t be a good sign for what’s to come.

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