Page 50 of My Saintly Demon

“I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I had a weakness when I was younger, and her name was Celestella. She was the most beautiful, funny, witty woman I’d ever met. I was under a spell whenever I was around her.”

I’ve never seen such a wistful look on my dad’s face before.

“How did you meet? Do I look like her at all?”

Dad’s half-smile tugs at my heart.

“You have her eyes and her smile.” Dad sips his coffee before relaxing back into the chair again. “I was to break up a newly formed church. The area was leaning too heavily into religion, and we were concerned the few demons on earth full-time would be hunted down. Ella, that’s what I called her, was a parishioner there. She was so very passionate about the cause.” He sighs again and I feel the weight of it to my bones.

“Was she… did she bargain for you?”

“Do I own her soul, you mean? No, nothing like that. She was too good for that. Even I knew she’d never give her soul to me. I was just a handsome ruffian sitting in the back, keeping tabs on things. I may have had a silver tongue for those of weaker character, but it never worked with Ella.”

“Did she know what you were?”

Dad’s face falls, and a genuine sadness appears. My dad has always been so confident and powerful. Heavy-handed even. But I’ve not seen that kind of sorrow on his face before today.

“She only found out after I revealed myself to her by accident. By then, it was too late. She was already pregnant with you.”

His voice is so broken and sad. Like I’d feel if I had to leave Charles behind.

“When an angel and demon have a child, Dave, it’s beautiful and tragic and we never know what the offspring will do in the world. When your mother knew she was pregnant, her only wish was for you to be loved and for me to give you a chance.”

“How did she die? Did she ever get to meet me?”

She sounds like such a wonderful person. If she reduced my dad to a sentimental mess, she must have been amazing.

“When an angel gives birth to a child who carries traits of someone like myself, they… they give all of themselves to the child in the hope they’ll be a better being. Good out weighs the bad sort of thing. Someone who will do the best for the world that they couldn’t do.” He swallows. “It’s all or nothing when good and evil collide like this.”

Exhaling a shaky breath, I let his words tumble around my brain until the real meaning of them finally hits me. And the ache in my chest is so tight a sob escapes my lips.

“So she died just to have me?”

“Yes, but she did it with so much joy and love, Dave. There was not a moment she wasn’t happy knowing you would be born, even when it meant the end of her. She made me promise her, if you showed any signs of being more angelic than demonic, I was to encourage you to follow it.”

“But I’ve been struggling my whole life trying to be what you want and you’ve not said anything until now. Why now?”

Dad looks away, more vulnerable than he’s dared to show at home. If he wasn’t wearing the socks I gave him, I’d think someone else was here in his place.

“I’m a demon, remember? I’m selfish and even though your mother was the only woman I ever loved, if I couldn’t have her, I wanted you. You reminded me so much of her. You made it worthwhile to know I lost her.”

What is taking Charles so long? He’d have something profound to say by now, and I’d not feel like I was being ripped in two.

“But you were breaking a promise doing so.”

He nods.

“When you were eight and your brothers were burning ants under a microscope, you know what you did? You rescued worms from the lawn after a rain. You knew they were easy pickings for the birds and you’d rush around picking up as many as possible and hiding them under plants and burying them in soil.” He sighs again. The heaviness of this conversation is palpable with every word and breath. “I knew then it was likely your mom would win, and you’d be an angel. But I didn’t want to let you go. It wasn’t enough time.”

Dad’s eyes are warm as he reaches over and lightly squeezes my hand.

“Do you know about… the physical stuff that’s happening?”

He smirks, a return of the dad I’m used to showing once more.

“Is something happening?”

My cheeks flush, thinking of how to tell my dad about the wings. I don’t know why, but it’s like when I was a teenager and getting the sex talk.

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