“Stop apologizing. You saved my life. If you weren’t there, I’m sure I’d no longer be breathing.”
My heart aches imagining that kind of outcome for him.
“But would you have been there in the first place? I know you had no plan, but would you have gone there if you were alone?”
“I don’t really know. Probably? I thought… fuck, I just wanted to go somewhere and lose myself in sex and alcohol, to be honest. It was the only thing to numb the pain of Matthew that worked.”
I knew I should have done something to that guy instead of escorting him out of the building. It’s his fault Charles is so bruised.
“Humans lose themselves in indulgence. You’re no different from anyone else that way. You have strong emotions to cope with. I’m not one to judge. But I’ll help you however you need me to.”
His hand smacks my chest, but there’s no animosity behind it.
“You’re not here to help me. You should be out doing less than kind things if you want to redeem yourself and return home. I can’t teach you that. I only know how to be unkind to myself.”
I didn’t think it was possible for me to feel so strongly towards anyone, let alone a human, but those words tear at my heart like a rusty saw blade. Dammit, I’m not making it out of here in one piece.
“Charles?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you want me to make you forget all that? Do you want me to make your body sing so loud you fall asleep without all that stuff clogging your mind for a night?”
“You want to blow my mind?”
“Oh, I’ll blow more than your mind. Yes or no, Charles?”
I know this isn’t healthy, but I don’t care. If he wants to use sex to forget the pain he has and if it helps even for a minute, I’ll do that. It helps me forget my own problems too, that’s sort of selfish isn’t it?
“Yes. Make me forget it all. Just make me feel… something else.”
His arms squeeze me tighter before I stand, taking him with me in my arms. He wraps his arms around my neck as I turn and bend to lay him gently on the bed.
“Can I call you Chuck?”
A laugh slips out of his lips and he tracks my fingers as I unbutton my shirt.
“Uh, sure.”
“Charles is so formal. Chuck is like… laid back. Fun. Sexy.”
I toss my shirt with my suit jacket on the chair and kneel over him. His eyes rake over me and I know he likes what he sees. If I can be guilty of anything, it’s vanity. I know I look good and it’s always a boost when another man appreciates it.
“I’ve never been accused of being fun. Or sexy.”
“Really? They need glasses and to check their personalities. You’re both.”
My horns emerge and with a tentative hand, he reaches out to run his fingers over them.
“Does that hurt? When they go up and down like that? Do you have any kind of control over it?”
The breathless wonder in his voice makes my heart soar.
“It doesn’t hurt and I can usually control it. Sometimes, though, I can’t. Like now. When I’m aroused and want something, they grow fast. Not much different from an erection, I’m afraid.”
I dip my head for him to have a closer look, and he rubs a fingertip up and down one of my horns. It grows before his eyes and I purr with appreciation. Nobody ever wants to love on the horns. They scare people. But I love having them touched. Especially the way Charles is.
“Do you want me that much?”