Page 31 of Baking With A Ghost

"I wish I could touch you for real and not just in your dreams. You're a kind and beautiful man, John. I don't ever want to leave here."

"Then don't. Please. Don't leave."

My voice rises with the scratchy plea and I turn to Mike. "Can you help him stay? Is there… is there a way to touch him? I want to touch him."

"Do you want him to stay for good, John? Is that what you're saying?"

Mike's voice is clipped and it throws me off.

"Yes!" I shout, and without even thinking the words pour out. "I've never felt so connected to anyone, or anything, I don't even know how to refer to him. Simon is special and I'd give anything to have my arms around him and properly give him a hug. And even more. I don't want him to go. How can I make it so he could be here, like this, all the time? Talking, and with me, so we can really get to know each other?"

I'm panting and tears prick in my eyes. The desperation to keep him talking and the grief of him leaving weighs heavy on my chest. I didn't think the meeting would be this short.

"He can be here forever if you choose, but if he stays, there's no going back. He really would be yours forever. Everywhere you go, he'd be there. You could feel him and talk to him, but it comes with great risk, John."

I pull at my hair and pace in my tiny space.

"Why didn't you tell me about this beforehand! If I can have him here all the time I'd say yes. A thousand times I'd say yes."

Mike finally stands and with a calm I no longer possess, walks over to me. With a hand on my arm he draws my focus to him.

"He'd be here as a human, John. He could never be a ghost again. He'd be here with you forever, but you can't change your mind."

Simon's image grows dim and I'm terrified he'll be gone before Mike finally explains it all to me. I reach a hand towards Simon as a tear rolls down his cheek.

"I don't ever see me changing my mind. What do we need to do? I have so much to do and say to him. This is not enough. Please, Mike. What do we do?"

"We break the circle and let Simon come through."

John

In the Flesh

"Breakthecircle?Whatthe hell does that mean?"

"The circle is only here to contain the spirit. Think of it like a fence to keep animals in a yard. When it breaks, they get loose and sometimes you never get them back. We give the spirits a safe area to visit, because if the wrong ones were to arrive, they can't get out. See what I'm saying?"

I shake my head. "Not really, but do you mean I can bring Simon here, in a real body, just by breaking the circle?"

Mike huffs. "In its simplest terms, yes. There's much more to it, but I can explain it all after. But right now, you have to be sure you want him here. It's forever, John."

My mind races with this information and I step closer to Simon. I can't let this go. I can't watch Simon go.

"Do it, Mike. I understand."

"Simon, is this what you want? You can't go back or choose another. We talked about this."

Simon nods yes and Mike pulls up a chair, resting his hands on his knees, he chants out loud. It's very loud, scary, and a language I don't even pretend to understand. When he's finished, he stands and bends down close to me to remove part of the circle.

"Catch him when he comes out, John, he's going to be weak."

I don't have time to think about what he really means by that, as I watch with my mouth hanging open, Simon steps through the opening. Like a piece of litmus paper changing colour, the gauzy aura surrounding him disappears from his feet to his head, leaving his solid form in front of me.

Simon. My Simon.

He's wet. I want to ask why, but Mike's voice snaps me out of my trance. "Catch him, he's going to fall!"

In slow motion, Simon's knees buckle as he reaches for me and his eyes roll back.

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