Simon,
If you can hear me, please show up tonight. I want to see your face and hear your voice and if I could, I'd like to say I want to feel your touch. I don't know what you can and can't do, but I really hope to meet you tonight. Please, be here for me.
Like a bolt of lightning, lighting up the darkened sky, I jolt in my chair when a face appears behind my eyelids and my eyes fly open. Searching the room, I see nothing. The circle is still empty.
Mike still has his eyes closed, lips moving in a silent chant, so I close my eyes again and focus on Simon. I picture him in my kitchen, making me soup again and laughing at something Snowball does. He's barefoot, in a pair of my pyjama pants, and his brown hair is sleep messed. He walks over to the sofa, where I'm lying curled up under a blanket. As he kneels beside me and drops a kiss to the top of my head, my breath catches when I see his face. Pure love. That's all I see in his eyes and feel in his touch. A touch so vivid, I bring my hand to my head, convinced I'll find Simon's hand there.
I don't of course, but there's something else. All sounds in the room cease and a blanket of silence cloaks the room. Once again I open my eyes. This time Mike's eyes are open, focused on the circle. As the candles burn with more brilliance than before, the flames shoot up higher as I watch. When I focus on the flames, movement happens in the circle and I suck in a breath.
"He's here."
Mike's voice is a whisper and I can't tear my eyes away from what's happening within the circle. The gauzy image of a male form has appeared and the longer I stare, the more the apparition becomes solid. More lifelike. Until finally, I'm seeing a man, but it's like an out of focus photograph, the filmy aura remains.
There's no mistaking the man I've seen in my dreams and the man I just pictured in my head.
"Simon?"
He nods his head, a shy smile on his lips, as he focuses on me. I have so many things I want to ask him. To say to him. But I don't know where to start.
Simon solves that problem for me, and in a deeper voice than I expected, he speaks first.
"I hope I haven't been scaring you, John."
He wrings his hands and drops his head, while I work to figure out what I want to say to him.
"You haven't. Not even a bit. You've been great company, and so very helpful. I love having you here."
His head shoots up. Hopeful brown eyes bore into mine.
"I'm glad. I wasn't sure if I… maybe went too far? I don't want you to leave, John."
"I'm not going anywhere, Simon. Thank you for coming here today. I have so much to ask, but… this is so strange."
I take a step closer and Simon's eyes widen.
He looks towards Mike whose face gives nothing away. He's seen ghosts so many times, this must be just another night at the office for him. But there's something there I can't read. Hesitance, perhaps?
"How come you came to the Mill house, John? What made you choose this place?"
"I picked a town to have a new start in. I saw the old mill and fell in love with the listing. When I came here, it called to me. I don't know how to describe it, but it just felt right, like I was meant to have my bakery here. When I walked through the doors, I felt… both welcome and a peace I've never had before. I couldn't ignore that."
He smiles shyly at my response and I'm captivated by it and his trusting brown eyes. The mop of brown hair is exactly as I pictured. He's dressed in the style of his time, white shirt, black pants and suspenders with rough looking brown leather shoes. He’s like a grown up Oliver Twist. All of him is still in a foggy veil, but it lifts the more we talk.
"I love it here. My family used to own the mill. I loved to help bake when I was allowed in the kitchen. My father didn't like me doing women's work." His eyes widen again as he hurries on. "Not that you do women's work. It's amazing what you do here and it's all quite lovely."
"Thank you. I've quite liked having you help with my bread. You've been very thoughtful. I like it when you're with me in the kitchen. I wish you could do it all the time."
He shoots his gaze at Mike once again and I sense there's something that’s been left out. A critical piece of information Mike may have skipped. Mike gazes at me, blank expression still in place.
"You should ask what you really want to, soon. He can only stay for a short time."
That seems like an odd thing to say. Can Mike read my mind now, as well as talk to ghosts?
Simon still wrings his hands, his hopeful eyes pleading for me to… do what? I'm still not sure.
"I'm sorry about what happened to you Simon. I wish… I wish you had been able to be with your boyfriend. Everyone deserves to feel loved in their life and that really bothers me, that you couldn't get what you were brave enough to reach for."
He reaches out his hand to me and I step closer, but with my step he snatches his hand back.