Page 1 of Baking With A Ghost

Prologue

Sometimeinthe1920's,I died.

I don't remember the exact date, but I'm sure it was a Wednesday. I only know that because I finished unloading the wagons with supplies right before I snuck out. After that it's all kind of a blur.

I didn't wake up in my usual world, instead finding myself stuck in a weird land of grey with no people. I thought I was dreaming. My familiar bed and the stone walls of the mill house were gone. When I finally realized I wasn't dreaming, a kind soul passing through asked me how the after life was.

It was only then I realized I was dead.

It took some time for me to piece together the few details of my accident and why it happened. Life is sometimes unfair, it seems, snatching your heart's desires away when it's right at your fingertips and sending me reeling into the waiting room of the unknown. My life was just beginning, until it wasn't.

I'm to move on to the afterlife. That's what's expected once you reach the weird place I'm stuck in. Choose door number one for eternal rest and peace. Easy choice for many, but if I go that way, I don't get answers and I never get to know love. I really want to know love. I want all of it, even the bad parts. The goodnight kisses, the lovers' quarrels and the messy parts when you learn to live with someone and fight over where to store the coffee mugs.

I was so close.

The second door would allow me to haunt, in the most classic of ghost terms. If I wanted to stay on earth and be close to the ones I loved, I could choose that. But that idea didn't appeal to me, I wanted to be real. I wanted to feel again and know the feeling of a tender lover's kiss and the comfort of warm arms around me. I don't want to be here!

Angry, sad, lost and confused and so full of pain, I refused to go anywhere but where I was. I didn't want to carry that to the afterlife with me and I don't like the idea of being some billowy form scaring the shit out of people every time they see me either. So I sat, in this grey place, confused and alone until one day a gentle presence came to let me know I had a third option.

This option wasn't one many knew about, but it appealed to me more than the others. I could stay in this detached bland world between worlds if I wanted, but there came great risk with the choice of staying. The risk meant nothing to me, I was already dead. If I could stay here and try to win the affection of a human again, I'd gladly take my chances. There was one catch. The human had to be my soul mate. He had to be so perfect for me, there could be room for no other. If that could happen, I could live again. There was no room for error or guessing. No room for only lust. It must be a fully reciprocated love, a soul so perfect for me and a bond so great, I couldn't be denied the chance to leave here.

How could I turn down the chance? No matter how small it may be, to be loved is all I ever wanted.

So I've sat here, listening and waiting for an earthly soul to call to me, and with every day that passes, my hope falls just a bit more.

Until one day, a beacon so bright in this drab world smacked me right in the face. It took me some time to focus on it, but when I could finally concentrate on the pureness of his soul and intentions, I worked over time to bring him to me.

When he arrived, I wasn't disappointed.

IfollowedalongwithJohn as he toured the old mill house I grew up in. He nodded along while the realtor spoke and presented a confident air, but I didn't feel it. He carried both a sadness with him and an incredible amount of… hope. It was oozing from him so bright it painted his aura like the brightest hue in an artist's palette.

He spoke to the man about opening a bakery here and I was pleased to hear that. I loved baking and it would be perfect here. John was very passionate about it as he spoke, gesturing and talking about remodeling for an industrial kitchen. He'd live in the loft above the mill and was thrilled to have the small space to call his own.

The realtor left him alone in the loft and it was then I saw it clearly. The sadness he held. It covered him like a second skin and it broke my heart. John gazed out the bay window over the creek for a long time and I took the opportunity to notice how handsome he was despite the troubles he carried. I wanted to be the one to take his sadness away. I could make him happy, and he me, because underneath that swirl of sadness, there was a heart searching for its mate. I felt it's call and with every bit of energy I had I sent one of my own. He needed to know coming here was not a mistake. He wasn't alone and I'd help him.

I knew I could help, because the sadness he carried was too much like my own.

I could ease his pain and fit seamlessly into his life. He was my soul mate, the one I've been waiting for the last hundred years or however long I've been here. My chance at love and everything I'd missed out on before I died.

He was my hope.

John

The Calling

Ithankedtherealtorand asked for a few moments alone in the loft. He closed the door behind him with a soft click as he excused himself down to the lower part of the mill house. Once he was gone, I allowed my upbeat and cheerful facade to fade.

This was a big deal, a huge step for me to finally take back my life. I hadn't told anyone where I'd gone this weekend, not even my best friend Ivy. She knew I was preparing to leave Carl, but I needed to get my affairs in order first. The listing for this old mill house in the small town of Hope sprung out of the real estate listings when I wasn't even thinking of looking.

Like a neon sign it jumped off the page. Once I read it, I was obsessed with seeing it. It took up all the free space in my mind and roamed my daily thoughts like free range chickens. Always pecking and scratching the surface, and showing up when I didn’t expect it. I couldn't shake it from my thoughts if I tried.

Now that I'm here, it's everything I'd ever dreamed of for my bakery. Ever since I was a child, I loved to bake. Memories of my babysitter who used to create with me were never far from mind and often brought a smile to my face when I needed it. Which was more often these days. Carl's belittling words grew more frequent and after speaking to a therapist, I finally accepted I was in an abusive relationship.

Since I'd let him control our finances, I felt even more trapped, but I knew I had to get away. I couldn't stay in a relationship with someone who couldn't even check on me while I was home with the worst stomach flu and felt like I was going to die. I just wanted someone to bring me a cold cloth and offer loving words, but instead I was told to clean up any mess I made and not puke on the carpet.

I wanted to celebrate my birthday with cake and gifts and feel adored, instead I was lucky to get a birthday wish before he went out with his "friends."

More than anything, I wanted to be held and feel like I mattered to anyone but Ivy. I deserve that much. I'm a good person and I'm doing my best to erase this mistake and start over.

---