Page 25 of How to Win the Girl

Daisy:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Drew C:I’m serious. I’ve never sent a dick pic, and I’m not starting with you. No offense.

Daisy:Gee. None taken.

Drew C:I’m actually being serious. I can’t afford to send a woman a photograph of my cock even if I wanted to. What if she posted it on social media?

Daisy:I mean—if your face wasn’t in the picture, how would anyone know it was YOUR wiener?

Drew C:First of all, that’s a good point. Second of all, please don’t say wiener.

Daisy:I can’t help it if wiener is my favorite thing to call a wiener.

Drew C:Knock it off

Daisy:Nope. Over here living my best life…

eight

drake

“Yo, Bro. I had sex on the couch yesterday.

Sorry about that—so maybe don’t use the pillow.”

My brotherstill has no idea he’s on a dating app.

How hilarious is that?

And not only am I still on the dating app ashim, I’m still chatting with Daisy, despite her best attempts to be rid of me. Sure—at first she was shoving back so hard that if I’d been standing at the edge of a cliff she would have pushed me in.

The sassy little shit.

I hadn’t intended to swipe on her.

Obviously.

Okay—I had. But it was to roast her for being such a salty bitch in class more so than anything, not get into a full-blown conversation with her, our full week of banter turning into two. It’s been…entertaining,if you will, the rest of my app time vetting actual prospective girlfriends for Drew has been minimal.

As soon as I sawDAISY, 21on the dating app, I was sucked in for the sake ofsticking it to hermore so than anything.

Clearly, I have no interest in her for Drew. Nor myself.

All I wanted to do was tell her what a bitter troll she is and move on with my life.

But like a sucker, almost two weeks later, we’re still at it, bantering back and forth in spurts.

Despite whatever this weird communication is we’ve established, Daisy still refused to sit near me, as Drew, in Mass Comm, the second week in a row my brother couldn’t get his shit together enough to attend, over scheduling himself with a course load he shouldn’t be taking.

My phone pings the exact moment I look over at her, down the rows to the center of the seating to where her head is bent, hands poised over her laptop.

She’s taking notes the way I should be.

Daisy:How did your date go with what’s-her-face?

Drew C:How are you messaging me? Two seconds ago, you were taking notes.

Daisy:Texting on my computer. So.How did your date go with what’s-her-face?

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