Page 76 of A Love Like Venom

Until the day came where she didn't.

At least that's what I thought.

I had convinced myself for years that Alice was a demon who belonged in the fieriest pits of hell only to reveal that I have been the devil all along.

Maybe I've known it this whole time.

Maybe I have known I've been the devil since I was born but constantly denied it

Because how could someone good do what I have done to Alice Hall?

And my revenge? It doesn’t taste as sweet as I thought it would. It tastes fucking bitter. “Revenge isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I was wrong. And I’m sorry.”

"I guess that's good to hear."

"You don't believe me?"

Shrugging she replies not keeping eye contact, "Do you really expect me to? God, Snake, I'm constantly wondering if the next words you are going to say are going to be so fucking mean or not."

Fuck, I really am the devil.

Just when I thought I couldn't be any worse of a person she reminds me how terrible I am.

And it's deserved.

I deserve all the punishments that she deems worthy of me suffering. Because I should suffer for everything I put her through.

"Then I'll have to prove to you how sorry I am," I tell her in hopes that one day she will be able to forgive me. "And it's Reed to you. Please."

This time I do see a tear run down her cheek. Quickly she wipes it away with her thumb, but I have already noticed it.

Sadly, she whispers, "I wish you didn't have to."

The angel still wishes upon the stars. My soul silently screams as it's being torn apart.

"Alice-" Her name is a pain filled plea on my lips.

Holding up her hand she silences me. "I can't do this with you. Not right now. I don’t want your half assed apologies. I just want you to go.”

Swallowing down the bitter taste that I created I nod my head in reply. Sweat forms while my pulse pounds in my head. My stomach tightens and my body grows tense. My tongue feels heavy in my mouth.

I don't know how to make her feel better. I don't know how to make this right.

But I know that I have to.

"What can I do?" I beg of her. "What can I do to show you that I can be that man again?"

Sniffling she swallows back the cries she refuses for me to see. "I don't know. I honestly don't know and that's the saddest part. You were once my savior and when you returned you became my tormentor. And now I hear this . . ." Pausing she takes a deep breath to hold herself together. And she does. Her strength far outweighs her sorrow. "I just want to be left alone for a little while. It's all too much, everything is too much."

"If that's what you really want, I'll go."

She replies tightly, "Yes, I want you to go."

There goes my heart dropping right out of my fucking chest. "Okay, I'll go but I want you to know one thing before I walk out that door." I wait until her eyes hold mine and then I promise her, "I'm not going to let Razor, or any other motherfucker hurt you ever again. You have my word."

"Don't promise me that and then break it. That would be cruel."

"I wouldn't do that, and I'll prove it to you."

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