Page 75 of A Love Like Venom

“You have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about!”

He looks deeply confused as he begins to pull at his hair. Then he pins me with doubtful eyes. “Then how the fuck did she know?! And why did you avoid me for weeks after I killed him? Itried reaching out to you countless of times and you kept turning me away by avoiding me.”

He has to be mad. That’s the only way to explain this insanity. “I didn’t avoid you. I was keeping a low profile. You killed a man. I helped burn the body. Cops were questioning his disappearance. My mom and sister were suspicious. They even questioned me about you. I thought if I kept my distance then they wouldn’t mention your name to the cops for a possible suspect.”

He staggers backwards. Looking as if his entire world has been tilted off of its axis. He swallows roughly. His eyes bleed torment but yet he still doubts me. “You’re lying. I heard what you said. You called me a monster. You said I terrified you.”

I recall the night my sister came at me suspecting Reed. Even said she had evidence to prove it. She was always jealous of the bond him and I shared. How I always came first even though he was dating her. I could see in her eyes she wanted to hurt me. And by locking away Reed she would desecrate me. So I did the only that could keep him safe. And that was to lie how I felt about him.

“I only said those things because she was going to turn you in. She knew how I felt about you. And you were right about one thing, I kept my secrets. Because I never told you how much my mother and sister hated me. How they still do. And I was bitter for how you kept Caitlin’s bed warm when it should’ve been me in your arms. So, not telling you about how poisonous she was and her cheating, that’s on me. But I had to make her believe I wanted nothing to do with you. If I made her believe you scared me then you would be safe. She wouldn’t turn you in.”

Leaning against the wall he slumps to the floor with his head hanging down. His arms come to grip the back of his neck and he pulls the ends of his hair furiously.

Raising his head slowly his eyes hold something I thought I would never see. Glassy eyes a lighter shade of brown are filled with nothing but remorse. Remorse and sorrow. “I turned out to be the villain when all I ever wanted was to be your hero.”

I swallow pass the lump in my throat. “All I’ve ever done was try to protect you. I could never think of you as a monster. Not for that. Never for that.”

“My father always told me no one would love a monster like me. And I always knew you were too good for me. That I didn’t deserve you. Because what would an angel like you want to do with a devil like me?” This is the most tortured I have ever seen him. His voice hold so much self loathing. Eyes filled with regret. A man called to the floor with his body slumped in defeat.

“You can’t blame me, Snake.”

“Reed,” he corrects. “I’m Reed Carter to you Alice. You’re the only person who really knows me.”

“Maybe before,” I whisper to him sadly. “But this doesn’t change how you treated me. I want to forgive you, believe me, but I don’t know if I can.”

He drops his head with a heavy sigh. I want nothing more than to comfort him. It's going against everything in me not to be there for him. But there are some things even the heart won't allow. Right now that poor damaged vessel is trying to protect me. Just like he once did.

"I want to know one thing and then I want you to leave," I ask of him.

"Anything," he answers right away.

“Is revenge everything you dreamed it would be?”

Snake

Out of all the ways I have hurt Alice Hall it was not trusting her that hurt her the most.

My words that I spewed at her, the venom in my voice, the hatred in my eyes, it all had affected her.

I saw the despair in her eyes. Eyes that always looked at me with hope. I heard the heartbreak in her voice. A heart that I once protected. I watched the agony take over her face.

In the end I had succeeded in what I set out to do. I wanted her to feel all the pain that I had felt.

I wanted to watch the mighty angel fall.

Here I am, with the angel I cursed before me. She stands with wings that are broken by the destruction of my own hands.

An aura of light that was once so strong is now fading. Flickering in the darkness I created.

All because I fell victim to my own insecurities.

Believing all your life that no one will ever accept you, the real you and then hearing it come from Alice’s lips only confirmed my greatest fear.

That no one could possibly love all of me, not the beast inside, the darkness within. Soon they would eventually leave.

With Alice I believed that I had finally found that. Someone who saw everything. All my flaws. Sharing all my strengths and weaknesses. Showing her the darkest part of me.

I believed that she would stay.

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