Page 66 of A Love Like Venom

My jaw locks tight as I grind my teeth. The truth of the matter is I never heard her side of the fucking story. I only overheard what she was saying to Caitlin that night. After hearing her agreeing with Caitlin in calling me a monster who was terrifying, I fucking left as fast as I could. I had shown her all of me, revealed the vulnerable darkest parts of myself and she called me a monster. She was terrified of me. Something I had always thought of myself, but she had never once thought that of me until that night.

But what if that conversation I heard with Caitlin was out of context?

What if what I overheard wasn’t what she meant at all?

I let my insecurities and emotions get the best of me.

I’ve been such a fucking fool.

Haven takes my silence as an answer. "You need to hear her side. Maybe once you do you won't feel this way anymore."

"What if I enjoy feeling this way?"

"No one enjoys feeling alone. I think you've been feeling that way for a long time."

"Always forget how perceptive you are," I mutter regretfully. I knew letting her in just a little bit last year would be giving away too much. It's almost unsettling how she can see right through me.

"You're human just like the rest of us. Which means you suffer from flaws. Unfortunately for you maybe a little more," she teases me, bringing lightheartedness to a heavy conversation. Where it is very much needed.

"What if I've been wrong? What do I do then?" I voice a fear of mine.

Because if I am wrong . . .

If I am wrong about Alice Hall, then I am everything I never wanted to be.

I'll be the villain I never wanted her to see. I'll forever be a monster in her eyes. And I don't know if I can handle that. As much as I wish on all the stars in the galaxy that Alice Hall has always been true a part of me wishes she wasn't. Because then and only then all my anger and hate has been justified.

"Then you learn to forgive yourself and hope that one day she forgives you, too."

"And what if that doesn't happen?" I ask her.

"Her forgiving you or you forgiving yourself?" She questions for clarification. When I don't give her an outright answer she reads between the lines. "Well, you wouldn't know unless you hear her out first."

"Right." I nod my head, overwhelmed with the war of emotions happening inside.

"Which you could tonight if you wanted to." She throws the suggestion out innocently.

"But tonight is about you and Dex. Celebration and all that," I argue a bit confused.

She laughs and replies sarcastically, "And you've been doing such a great job being a part of it."

"Fair point."

Placing her hand on her hip she then asks me, "So what are you still doing here then?"

"You really want me to go. Right now?"

She sighs dramatically. "I'm not trying to be subtle about it. I'm all but pushing you out of the fucking door.”

At that a smile breaks through. Haven has never been one for subtlety. Nor does she have any problem telling us the fuck off. As much as it can be annoying it's refreshing, too. You can go to her for a straight answer. "You're something else, you know that?" I joke with her.

Rolling her eyes she responds, "Well someone around here has to put you fuckers in place. Honestly, it's becoming exhausting at this point. Who knew all you men could be so much work."

She turns to leave having made her point and as I watch her go I call out her name. Turning slightly, she looks at me with her head over her shoulder. Her eyebrow raised in question. I swallow before saying, "Thank you." She nods her head in reply and leaves me behind.

Perhaps this is the only way to silence my demons once and for all. They won't be able to bother me any longer. And maybe this hatred I've been carrying for far too long will finally be relieved.

Leaving the gymnasium, I make my way to my bedroom that is towards the back of the compound. With all the partying going on in the main area no one is back here. After all bedrooms are off limits.

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