Page 132 of Claiming Pretty

A promise.

He did not flinch nor hesitate with his response. He nodded. “No matter what.”

We were both silent, the meaning of our words heavy. The agony of what we were about to do was shared between us, a brotherly burden.

I wondered what—orwho—we’d have to sacrifice in order to keep that promise.

AVA

Ichewed my lip as the phone rang, the night mist dampening the leaves beneath my pacing feet.

This was my last phone call.

In and out of the glare of the van’s headlights I moved, certain that my every step was watched by either Ciaran or Ty, eyes hidden behind the black of the windshield as they made their final preparations.

I cradled my arm against my stomach for warmth as I started to panic. She wouldn’t pick up. I wouldn’t get to hear her voice one last time before—

She picked up to my relief.

Ebony’s voice came on over the phone. “…don’t care how, just get it done. Hello, Ava?”

“Ma?”

She sucked in a breath. Then for a moment there was silence.

“Ava, what’s wrong?”

I hadn’t meant to frighten her. But knowing that thiscould very well be the last time I spoke with her, the word I’d never used with her just came out.

Ma.

It was a name most Irish girls had uttered more times than they could count. They’d whined it, shouted it, giggled it, rolled their eyes with it.

It was a name I’d always longed to call Ebony, but I never did because I felt I hadn’t yet earned the right to be her daughter.

It took being on the verge of oblivion to say ‘fuck it.’ I deserved a mother’s love just as much as anyone else, no matter what had happened in my past.

But I forgot that Ebony would read my use of ‘Ma’ out of the blue as a sign that something terrible had happened.

“No, no, everything is fine,” I said, probably a little too rushed. “I just—I was just thinking about you is all.”

Ebony was a smart woman and I hadn’t been that convincing. Surely she sensed something wasn’t right.

But perhaps she also sensed that this wasn’t the time to push.

“Oh. Alright.” After a moment, she added, “I think about you, too, Ava. More than you know… and certainly more than I say.”

I turned my back to the van to hide the start of tears in my eyes. I worried they would interpret them as signs of second-guessing.

I was more determined than ever to bring these fuckers down. I felt like I was stronger than I had ever been.

But I was sure that even the strongest woman in the world could be brought to her knees by her mother’s simplest affections.

I knew what I was saying. I knew it would worry her. I knew it was a step forward neither of us had ever taken. I knew Ebony would not sleep that night for fear of just why I said it. But I couldn’t stop myself. I had to speak.

“I love you,” I said even as my throat constricted with emotion.

I’d never told her before.

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