Page 55 of Reckless Hearts

Me: Wow, shouty caps and everything.

Alana: Ugh...EVERYTHING about you is hot, Flynn, everything.

Me: Everything is hot about you too, Alana.

The messages stop, even though I can see she has read the last one I sent her. I know we are both drunk, but I can’t help reading more into these messages, into the fact that she’s even sent them to me, when we both know we shouldn’t be doing this.

But drunk is when your inhibitions go, right? When you do the things you really want to do, but know you probably shouldn’t.

And I can’t help but wonder what drunk Alana and drunk Flynn would do given half a chance. I know what I want to do and apparently, I am drunk enough that I decide to just get that conversation started.

Me: Fuck, I wish you were here.

Alana: Me too...

Me: Wanna come over? Or I can come to you?

Alana: Girls’ sleepover...no can do

Me: Fuck.

Alana: I wish

Me: Me too...so bad.

The messages go silent again, and I finish my beer before getting up to get another one. Just as I grab one from the fridge, my phone vibrates again with a new message.

Alana: Would you be interested in phone sex?

I swallow hard as all the blood in my veins now rushes to my dick. Would I be interested? Hell fucking yes, I would.

Me: YES!!

Alana: Lol, ok...give me a few...I’ll message when I can get away from the girls. That ok?

Grinning, I type out another message as I make my way back to my chair, wondering how the fuck I can get away from the guys.

Me: When it comes to you, Alana, everything is ok.

Alana:

I’m beaminglike a complete idiot as I stare at our text conversation, giddy and feeling like I’m sixteen again and falling hard for a boy. I can’t remember the last time I felt this way. It has to be when I was told I was getting a bid to surf Maui Pipe as an amateur. That day is seared into my brain, recalling how my cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

This thing with Flynn, it feels the same way. This nervous excitement is burning through me, all forbidden and desperate. I wish it could be different, and maybe after Pipe, it will be.

And my thoughts start to wander to a place they shouldn’t, to a place I was just a few weeks ago before I met Flynn. It has me questioning if I should go through with this because dropping out would mean Flynn and I could be together without repercussions.

But it’s stupid.

I think about my letter from Mitch that’s sitting on my nightstand. The one I still haven’t opened. Dropping out of Pipe to be with a guy is something Mitch would have never let me live down. But I don’t know how else to handle this. He can’t be Jade’s coach and my boyfriend.

It’s not allowed.

And those words ring loud and booming in my ears.

Daisy and Sage are both asleep, the wine and life doing them in and normally I’d be right there with them. Yet, here I am, forcing myself to stay awake so I can sneak off and call Flynn.

I catch Sloane out of the corner of my eye. She’s watching me with a smile on her face, and it’s so hard keeping this from her. Not just her, really all of them. They’re my best friends and my biggest support system, and here I am, hiding something that is having a massive effect on my life from them.

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